गुदगुदी
Posted by
Deepak Shrivastava
मरीज (डाक्टर से) - ऐसी बीमारी को सहने से अच्छा तो मर जाना अच्छा है।
डाक्टर (मरीज से) - हम कोशिश तो कर रहे हैं।
बच्चा (पिता से) - एक मूछों वाला आदमी बाहर खड़ा है।
पिता (बच्चे से) - उसे कह दो हमें मूछों की जरूरत नहीं है, हमारी मूछें हैं।
जज (चोर से) - मालिक के होते हुए आपने चोरी कैसे की?
चोर (जज से) - हुजूर! आप सीखकर क्या करेंगे?
संता (बंता से) - मैं चाहता हूं कि मेरी पत्नी बुद्धिमान हो, सुंदर हो और मीठी बोलने वाली हो।
बंता (संता से) - लेकिन इतनी मंहगाई में तुम तीन पत्नियों का खर्च कैसे बर्दाश्त करोगे?
एक बार एक आदमी शंकर भगवान की तपस्या की
और शंकर भगवान प्रशन हो गए और बोले कोई बरदान माग ले
उस इन्शान ने बोला मेरे को गिटार दे दो प्रभु
शंकर भगवान बोले कुछ और मांग लो मई गिटार नही दे सकता
उस बय्क्ति ने बोला क्यूँ ?शंकर भगवान बोले !
अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता तो मई डमरू क्यूँ बजता
डाक्टर (मरीज से) - हम कोशिश तो कर रहे हैं।
बच्चा (पिता से) - एक मूछों वाला आदमी बाहर खड़ा है।
पिता (बच्चे से) - उसे कह दो हमें मूछों की जरूरत नहीं है, हमारी मूछें हैं।
जज (चोर से) - मालिक के होते हुए आपने चोरी कैसे की?
चोर (जज से) - हुजूर! आप सीखकर क्या करेंगे?
संता (बंता से) - मैं चाहता हूं कि मेरी पत्नी बुद्धिमान हो, सुंदर हो और मीठी बोलने वाली हो।
बंता (संता से) - लेकिन इतनी मंहगाई में तुम तीन पत्नियों का खर्च कैसे बर्दाश्त करोगे?
एक बार एक आदमी शंकर भगवान की तपस्या की
और शंकर भगवान प्रशन हो गए और बोले कोई बरदान माग ले
उस इन्शान ने बोला मेरे को गिटार दे दो प्रभु
शंकर भगवान बोले कुछ और मांग लो मई गिटार नही दे सकता
उस बय्क्ति ने बोला क्यूँ ?शंकर भगवान बोले !
अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता तो मई डमरू क्यूँ बजता
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
Joke,
SMS,
गुस्ताखी माफ़,
व्यंग्य,
हिन्दी
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Question And Answer
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90 Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle. B. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their Heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90 Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle. B. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their Heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Labels:
Bday,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Poem,
Sad News,
SMS,
Story,
Thoughts,
व्यंग्य
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comments
Unka Waada Hai Ki Vo laut Ayenge
Pucho na us kagaj se,jis pe hum dil ke bayan likhte hai,Tanhayino me beeti baate tamam likhte hai,Wo Kalam bhi dewani ho gayi,jis se hum AAP ka Naam likhte hai.
Apne haathon se yun chehre ko chupate kyun ho, mujh se sharmate ho toh yun samne aate kyun ho, Tum kabhi meri tarah kar bhi lo ikraar-e-vafa, pyaar karte ho toh phir pyaar chupate kyun ho
Humein unki ebadat se fursat nahi milti ,log na jane kisko khuda kehte hain ,dil mein rakha hai unko,log na jane kyon juda kehte hain.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.
Apne haathon se yun chehre ko chupate kyun ho, mujh se sharmate ho toh yun samne aate kyun ho, Tum kabhi meri tarah kar bhi lo ikraar-e-vafa, pyaar karte ho toh phir pyaar chupate kyun ho
Humein unki ebadat se fursat nahi milti ,log na jane kisko khuda kehte hain ,dil mein rakha hai unko,log na jane kyon juda kehte hain.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.
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