Cool Jokes Collection

Intezar rehta hai har shaam apka,
raatein katti hai le kar naam apka,
muddat se baithe hai ye aas lagaye
ki aaj aayega koi paigaam apka…

Aksar jab hum aapko yaad karte hai
apne rab se yahi fariyaad karte hai
umar hamari bhi lag jaye aapko
kyoki hum aap ko khud se zyada pyar karte hai…

Aye mohabbat tere anjaam pe rona aaya
Jaane kyon aaj tere naam pe rona aaya
Yun to har sham umedon mein guzar jaati hai
Aaj kuch baat hai jo sham pe rona aaya

Geet ki zaroorat mehfil mein hoti hai
Pyar ki zaroorat dil mein hoti hai
Bin dosti ke adhuri hai yeh zindagi
Kyunki dost ki zaroorat har pal mehsus hoti hai

Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.

Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.

Duniyaa me mohabbat karne waalo ki,

Takdeer badalti rahti hai,

Shisha to wahi rahta hai,

Tasweer badalti rahti hai.

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.

Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,

Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!

Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.

Teri yaad se rishta kal bhi tha
teri yaad se rishta aaj bhi hai,,

Dil apna dukhta kal bhi tha
dil ye udaas aaj bhi hai,,

Jo pyar hum tum karte they
woh pyar to zinda aaj bhi hai,,

Hum bichad gaye is doori mein
tum door ho majboori mein,,

Kabhi waqt mile to chali ana
khula dil ka darwaza aaj bhi hai,,

Na sataao, na tadpaao..... .
na mehfil mein yu tanha chodo,

Teri yaad me jaage kal bhi they,
teri yaad me jaage aaj bhi hain......

आज काफ़ी दिन बाद मैंने अपने ब्लॉग पर लिख रहा हूँ | बहुत सोचा क्या लिखा जाए | तो ख्याल आया उसके बारे में लिखूं जिसे मैंने कभी नही भूल सकता
तो उसके लिए १ शेर :-

कुछ रिश्ते होते हैं "हवाओं" की तरह,
बनके "खुशबू" ज़िन्दगी मैं घुल जाया करते हैं,

कुछ शख्स होते हैं "धुन" की तरह,
बनके "ग़ज़ल" ज़िन्दगी सुरमई कर जाया करते हैं,

जाने क्यूँ जब भी ज़िक्र होता है नाम का आपके,
हम "ग़ज़ल" की "धुन" और "हवाओं" की "खुशबू" को महसूस कर जाया करते हैं.......

धन्यवाद
दीपक श्रीवास्तव

Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."

Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."

Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."

Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."

Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."

Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"

Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."

Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."

Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."

Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."

Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"

Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydneys larger constructions.

First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "What’s that!” In reply the Australian said, "Thats the Gladesville Bridge".
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?” The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men."
The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men."
Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" came the reply.

"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?” The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men". The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men."
By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbour Bridge came into view.

Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?"
The Australian Engineer replied, "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn`t home.
" Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"
" She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don`t really know," he said. "She`s been there eleven years now."

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"

Is kadar intezaar karna padega aapka,
pata na tha
Is kadar bekarar hona padega,
pata na tha
Is kadar yaad aayegi aapki,
pata na tha
kyon guzarata hai sara din aapki yaad mey
pata hai aapko ?
kyon bekrar ho jaata hun mai bin tumhare
pata hai aapko ?
Kyon yaad aati hai aapki har pal
pata hai aapko ?
Ye dooriya ab sahi jaati nahi
chale aao, chale aao
chale aao, chale aao..................

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मुझे देख कर अच्छा लगा की लोग प्यार के बारे मी अभी भी कुछ ख़याल तो रखते हैं क्योंकि आज के भागदौड़ की जिंदगी में लोगो के पास इतना समय कहा रहता है एक दुसरे से मिले और अपने बातों का इजहार करें लेकिन ये कमबख्त इंटरनेट हर मुश्किल आसान कर देता है अब आज का स्टेटस जो लोगो के gtalk में लगा है
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Deepak Shrivastava:--

Sochte the...paani se juda hokar Ye 'MachhliyaaN' itna kyoN chatpatati hai,Na
maaloom tha...nazdikiyaaN aadat or...Aadat...aksar Jindgi ban jaati hai.

Dhanjet Dubey:-

ये आई लव यू कहना जीतना आसान है उतना हीन मुश्कील है इसको आगे भी जारी
रखना,क्युंकी ये आई लव यू कहने वाले इस दुनीया मे बहुत हैं लेकीन कीतने
लोग सफल हुए हैं ये आज तक दफ़न कहानी है, आशा है मेरे दोस्त तुम भी समझ
जाओगे.....

Deepak Jangir:--

Kabi Khud bhi Mere paas aa,Meri Baat sun Mera Saath de.....Jo Khalish hai Dil se
Nikal ker,Mujhe Uljhno se Nijaat de.....Tujhe Sochna Mera Tamnaa,Tujhe Dekhna
Meri Aarzoo.....Mujhe Dil de apne Khayal ka,Mujhe Qurb ki ek Raat de.....Meri
Zindagi Mere saath chal,Mere Haath mai apna Haath de.....Mujhe mai apna Haath
de.....Mujhe Ghum bhi Khushi se Qabool hain,Jo Tu agar Mera Saath

Lisa :-

apne jajbat ko nagmo main rachane ke liye maine dil main dhandkan ki tarah
basaya tumhe..main tassbur bhi judai ka kese karu maine haathon ki lakiro se
churaya hai tumhe..

बस मेरे समझ में १ बात नही आ रही है ये मामला क्या है???

अब इन्हे देखें यह कस्टम मेसेज मैंने सुबह किसी और का देखा था हो सकता है मैं सही न होऊं अभी जिसके पास है मुझे पता है यह इन सब चक्कर में नही है
पर किसके चक्कर मैं हैं ????

Katy:--

Dilon se khelne ka hunar hume nahi aata, Isiliye ishq ki baazi hum haar
gaye, Meri zindagi se shayad unhe bahut pyar tha, Isiliye mujhe
zinda hi maar gaye

अगर आपमें से किसी को भी इन मेसेज पर कोई आपति हो तो दिमान न लगाएं और १ मेल करें यहाँ :-- शिप्रा मिश्रा मैं आपने वादा करती हूँ १० मिनट के अन्दर आपके नाम और मेसेज हट जायेंगे धन्यवाद

Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum
Nazron ki khwaish,nazmon ki justaju hain hum
Khoobsurati se aur khoobsurat jo hay
Us khoobsurti ki tarif hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Dharkan ko yakeen na ho
Aisi sawan ki khooshboo hain hum
Patjhar ke foolonki nazaqat jo hay
Us nazron ki haya hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Asim ko allah ki karam ho
Aisi karam ki barish hain hum
Woh jism me jo aag lagaye
Aisi barsaat ke araish hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Aag ko bujhaye to arz ho
Un tamam rangon ki tarannum hain hum
Dhun jab bewafai kar baithe
Woh awaz ki saaz hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Khoobsurti ki shayri kahiyeto
Us nazmon me sawal hain hum
Sawalon ka halal ho in haatonse
To woh bamisaal jawab hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Yeh daag jo mit-ti nahin damanse
Woh daag ki raushnayi hay hum
Zamaneki raushanara badnaseebi ki dilruba hain hum
Jis khoobsurti ki taugin kare ruswayi
Us khubsurti se asim hain hum
Takhdeer jo zindegi se bewafai kare
Us zindegi ke mazak hain hum

Rishtey to nahi rishton ki parchaiyan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

ek chhat ke tale ajnabi ho jaate hai rishtey
bistar pe chadaron se chup so jaate hai
dhunde se bhi in mein nahi garmaiyan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

jisko bhi dekhiye woh adhura sa hai yahan
jaise kahin ho aur woh aadha rakha hua
woh jab jahan jude wahi judaiyaan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

Rishtey to nahi rishton ki parchaiyan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

हिन्दी मी यहाँ