Some Cool Sms Jokes
Posted by
Deepak Shrivastava
Patient:-doctor mujhe beemari hae khana na khau to bhuk lag jaati hae,jyada kaam karta hu to thakan lag jaati hae,der tak utha rahu to need aa jaati hae.Kya karu?
Doctor:-Raat bhar dhoop mae bhete raho sahi ho jaoge.
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Ques - Santa ne aag mein jalte hue makaan se 7 logo ko baahar nikla lakin ab wo jail me hai kyun ?
Ans - Kunki sabi 7 log FIREMEN they.
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Film Director to Actor: Tum ko 100 feet ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai.
Actor: Par mere ko tairna nahi aata, mein doob jaunga.
Film Director: Don't worry, pool me paani nahi hai.
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Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi.. ;-)
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GADHE ke samne 1 PAANI ki & 1 DARU ki balti rakhi'
GADHA Paani pi gaya.
Police ne sharabi se pucha- Tune is se kya sikha???
Sharabi- Jo DAARU nahi pita vo GADHA hai...
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1 ladka apne gf k liye chudiya lekar jata he!
GF- khud hi pehnado
Boy- mujhe kya pta tha itna acha response milega varna me kapde lekar ata
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Mushkil hai hal-e-dil unhe sunaye kaise
Mushkil hai hal-e-dil unhe sunaye kaise
Unki chahat hai hame unko ye bataye kaise
jamane ki majburiyo se baaj aaye kaise
kashti hai beech samandar me bachaye kaise
aandhiyo me diya aone ishq ka jalaye kaise
shara me aagaye hai gulshan ki talash me
baharo ko tere ghar ka pata bataye kaise
ham tanha nahi deewano ke sahar me aadin
jakhm kitne mile hai kisiko dikhaye kaise
Ankho se bahte aansuo ne bahut rulaya hame
ankho se bahte aansuo ne bahut rulaya hame
unhe bhulane ki kosis tamam naummid hogayi
Door jakar bhi hamse usne bahut sataya hame
Ishq ki gahraiyo se jo gujra na tha kabhi
fakat Usine aakhir bimar-e-ishq banaya hame
Thi jinse ummid meri kashti ko bachane ki
usi nakhuda ne aadin phir aaj dubaya hame
Father of the Nation
Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question.
When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.
Jawaharlal is next.
He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot.
They ask why God hadn’t given him anything.
Gandhiji replied with anger, “Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!”
Interview Of IAS
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
“When did India get independence?” He was asked.”The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947″ He replied.”Who was responsible for our independence?”.”There were so many. Whom to mention?.If I name one it will be a injustice to another.”He replied.”Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?”.”Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report” He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Sardar would not leave him.
“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”By the way, what is your date of birth?” He replied, “The effort began a few years earlier
and final result was in 1947.” Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.”What is your fathers name?” He replied, “There were so many. Whom to mention”. If I name one it will be injustice to another” The interviewer was incensed. “Hey! are you mad or what?” He replied.
“Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report.”
Men Are Like....
2. Men are like .Bananas ..... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .....Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .....Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ..Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ......Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ....Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.