Cool Jokes Collection

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told,"First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!!

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the developer?" One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working."

5′5 jiski height ho,
Jeans jisco tight ho,
Chehara jiska bright ho,
Weight mein thodi light ho,
Umar mein differenc slight ho,
Thodi see who quite ho,
Aisi apni wife ho.

Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,
Bhid mein sab hahe side ho, side ho,
India ki paidish ho,
Sas ki seva jiska khwahish ho,
Aisi apni wife ho.

Padoshi jab baat kara to hath mein knife ho,
Dinner candle light ho,
Dona mein kabhi na fight ho,
Milane ka baad dil delight ho,
Hey prabhu teri archana uski life ho,
Yeh kavita padhke sab kahe “Guru, Tum Right Ho”,
Aisi apni wife ho.

Kaash yeh concept 0.0001 percent right ho,
Agar Aisi apni wife ho,
To kya hasin life ho,
Har kisi ki yehi farmaish ho,
Kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho,
Kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho,
Ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho,
Aisi apni wife ho, Aisi apni wife ho…….

Thanks

शिक्षक (छात्र से)- पाचन क्रिया के बारे में तुम क्या जानते हो?
छात्र (शिक्षक से)- जी, यह महिलाओं में न होने वाली स्वभाविक प्रक्रिया है।

संता सिंह और बंता सिंह दोनों बहुत बड़े दुश्मन थे। ये दोनों एक ही बिल्डिंग में रहते थे। बंता सिंह सातवें माले पर रहता था और संता सिंह पहले। एक बार बिल्डिंग की लिफ्ट खराब हो गई। बंता सिंह ने सोचा कि आज संता को सबक सिखाया जाए। उसने संता सिंह को फोन करके खाने पर बुलाया। बेचारा संता सिंह जैसे-तैसे सातवें माले पर पहुंचा और वहां जाकर देखा कि दरवाजे पर ताला लगा है और लिखा था कि 'कैसे उल्लू बनाया।' संता सिंह को यह देखकर काफी गुस्सा आया। उसने नोट के नीचे लिखा- 'मैं तो यहां आया ही नहीं था।'

Quotes of the Day:- Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.