Cool Jokes Collection

apni shaadi me zayaada deri mat karna,

dil tumhari saheli par aa jaye to mat kehna,

main to aashiq hoon khoobsurti ka jaana,

meri baarat tumhare pados me aaye to mat kehna

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Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna,

Jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna,

Agar wo gusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat,

Raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna.

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Lab khamosh hote hain jab tum saamne aati ho,

Dil dhadakta hai jab nigaahein milaati ho,

Saans ruk jaati hai jab muskuraate ho,

Bhoot ho kya jo tum itna daraate ho.

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Oooooooooooooooo!!!Huzoor bhad mein gaya tera suroor,
Surat se tu lagta khajoor,
Bidi Ki Factory ka majdoor,
Chal Ho jaa Dooooor,
Gadhe, Ullu, Langoor.

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Unse ham kuch keh bhi nahi paatein hai
Bin unke dedaar ke reh bhi nahi paatein hai
Jaane kyun dil ki baat dil hi main reh jaati hai
Hum nukkad pe khade rahate hai woh nikal jaati hai....
Roz sochte hai ki dil ki baat zubaan pe layenge
Issi baras phir dilwale dulhaniyaa le jaayengee.
Par afsoos baat jubaan pe aakee atak jaati hai
Aur uske saamne aate hi palak jhapak jaati hai....
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Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha
to yaad aaya kuch to hua hai kuch ho gaya hai,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
sab kuch alag hai sab kuch naya hai.
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Koi achha lage to use pyar mat karna,
uske liye apni ninden bekaar mat karna,
do din to aayenge khushi se milne,
teesre din kahenge mera intjar mat karna...
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unki her ek ada ke hum kayal ho gaye,
unki tirchi nazar se jo hum ghayal ho gaye
assaliyat jani hamne ki nazar tirchi hai unki
to laga aisa sadma ki hum pagal ho gaye
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Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.

Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500.

Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi

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Santa ek baar naye shahar me gaya.waha bus se utar ke mitti ko utha ke bola

"waaah" yahan ki mitti ki khushboo hi alag hai.. Ek adami bola abe sale

dhyan se dekh ye mitti nahi gobar hai...!!!

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Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha “Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”

Jate jate chor seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

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Shopkeeper: Agar itane paise bachaane hon toh kaagaj ki kyoon nahee pehan lete?

Baniya: Ghar ke saare puraane kaagaj mera betaa le gayaa... baniyaan banaane ke liye

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband : 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
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Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Shaadi se pehle - Biviho to esi
Shaadi ke baad - Bivi hai kesi ?

Shaadi se pehle - Hero No. 1