Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
English SMS For Communication and Enjoyment
Posted by
web matrix
A short message is the information that can be used to transfer data to a lot. To use short message services have been introduced with a number of people looking for a way to tell your friends, relatives and friends what they think and what they think of them. This piece of technology is really interesting, not to mention the numerous discoveries in SMS children who came with it. Types of SMS English SMS are as varied as you will find a loving, gentle jokes and flirtatious. What kind of person you are sending an SMS message with a positive or a negative effect on the recipient.
English jokes are by far some of the most interesting in the mobile phone. A joke by SMS can be sent to someone to cheer them up. There are people who love to laugh with t
hose people who have a great sense of humor, but approaching them is crucial. SMS you send these people to trigger a nerve to make them laugh. There are different kinds of jokes in English that can be sent by SMS. Animal jokes, jokes, cartoons, jokes, celebrity, crazy jokes, ethnic jokes, food jokes, school jokes and much more. Something interesting that you see can be turned into comedy and turned into a short message to make someone laugh or cause them to action.
Sending text messages on the phone to show how much you love someone. When structuring the text a little creativity and innovation will be necessary to offer content that will not only send the message, but send the message with style. If not that of your friends have been pushing him quiet with a joke by text message and make his day. SMS in English is easier to understand, you can play with words to achieve a unique piece to send to someone. If you run out of ideas this joke to send someone on SMS pick ideas in magazines, online and look around. Sending these messages is fun when you do it with friends.
hose people who have a great sense of humor, but approaching them is crucial. SMS you send these people to trigger a nerve to make them laugh. There are different kinds of jokes in English that can be sent by SMS. Animal jokes, jokes, cartoons, jokes, celebrity, crazy jokes, ethnic jokes, food jokes, school jokes and much more. Something interesting that you see can be turned into comedy and turned into a short message to make someone laugh or cause them to action.Sending text messages on the phone to show how much you love someone. When structuring the text a little creativity and innovation will be necessary to offer content that will not only send the message, but send the message with style. If not that of your friends have been pushing him quiet with a joke by text message and make his day. SMS in English is easier to understand, you can play with words to achieve a unique piece to send to someone. If you run out of ideas this joke to send someone on SMS pick ideas in magazines, online and look around. Sending these messages is fun when you do it with friends.
Labels:
English Joke,
Friendship,
Gallary,
Latest news,
Sad News,
Tips,
web hosting,
हिन्दी
|
1 comments
What is marketing?
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I'm a very rich, Will you marry me?"
Ans: This is "Direct marketing".
2. You at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friend goes up to her and pointing at you and say:"He is very rich" Marry him?
Ans: This is "Business advertising".
3. You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walk up to you and says: "You are very rich" Can u marry me?
Ans: This is "Brand recognition".
4.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me?" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
Ans: This is "Customer feedback"
5.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me?" then she introduces u to her husband.
Ans: This is "Demand and supply gap".
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before u say: "I'm rich, marry me?" Your wife arrives-
Ans: This is "Restriction for entering new markets".
Ans: This is "Direct marketing".
2. You at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friend goes up to her and pointing at you and say:"He is very rich" Marry him?
Ans: This is "Business advertising".
3. You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walk up to you and says: "You are very rich" Can u marry me?
Ans: This is "Brand recognition".
4.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me?" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
Ans: This is "Customer feedback"
5.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I'm very rich. Marry me?" then she introduces u to her husband.
Ans: This is "Demand and supply gap".
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before u say: "I'm rich, marry me?" Your wife arrives-
Ans: This is "Restriction for entering new markets".
Cool joke
एक दिन की बात है दिल्ली के ५० वर्षो से सेवा में कार्यरत (डी टी सी) बस में बहुत भीड़ थी!
पास में एक खड़ी युवती बहुत परेशान थी !
युवती के ठीक पीछे खड़ा एक बिनम्र युवक बार - बार ड्राईवर के ब्रैक लगाने से युवती से टकरा जाता था !
युवती की परेशानी और बढाती जा रही थी !
रस्ते में ऐसा कई बार हुआ !
अचानक बस (डी यु) के पास पहुँचने ही वाली थी की एक बार और युवक जा टकराया !
युवती आपे से बहार तेज गुस्से में :- क्या कर रहे हो idiot ?
बिनम्र युवत बेचारा बिनम्र स्वभाव में - मैडम (डी यु ) से M A!
पास में एक खड़ी युवती बहुत परेशान थी !
युवती के ठीक पीछे खड़ा एक बिनम्र युवक बार - बार ड्राईवर के ब्रैक लगाने से युवती से टकरा जाता था !
युवती की परेशानी और बढाती जा रही थी !
रस्ते में ऐसा कई बार हुआ !
अचानक बस (डी यु) के पास पहुँचने ही वाली थी की एक बार और युवक जा टकराया !
युवती आपे से बहार तेज गुस्से में :- क्या कर रहे हो idiot ?
बिनम्र युवत बेचारा बिनम्र स्वभाव में - मैडम (डी यु ) से M A!
Funny - Jokes to Open a Presentation
An simple and simple way to anon add amusement to your presentation is to cover it in your introduction. This way you can potentially accept your admirers bedlam even afore you set bottom on stage, this is not a bad thing. Now, if I say you can use jokes to accessible a presentation you do not necessarily accept to use a artery joke.
If you are not bright on the term, a artery antic is a antic you get told by a acquaintance or plan aide in a amusing situation. Such as the "man walks into a bar..." blazon jokes. More generally than not these do not accept an authorship.
But you do not accept to use those. You can artlessly actualize your own presentation addition jokes, but harnessing your own faculty of humor. Can you anticipate of something humorous, and accordant to your presentation which the being introducing you can apprehend out? Quick tip; if you do accomplish abiding it is adapted for the ambiance you are speaking in.
Is there a way that you can acquisition a amusing quote, or central antic that connects able-bodied with your presentation as able-bodied as with your audience?
You can use artery jokes, but I would accommodate two warnings if you do so. The aboriginal is if you use a artery antic I would adapt it so that it was in my words and I would personalise it. Secondly, be actual accurate if you acquisition a artery antic online or in a book. There is a actual top adventitious that anyone abroad may be application the aforementioned joke. If they are on the aforementioned bill as you it could be dangerous. Or if you are the alone speaker, you ability accept anyone advancing up to you afterwards and cogent you that they had heard the antic before.
Also, abounding presenters decay admired admirers affiliation time by accepting their addition arranged with biographical information. You apperceive the type, "our next apostle as an MBA, BBC and NBC..." who cares?
Remember that your admirers is consistently traveling to be thinking: "what is in it for me?" So why not acquaint them appropriate off the bat? Inform your admirers absolutely what they will get out of alert to you. What is their yield away? Will they apprentice a specific set of tools? Are you giving them an activity plan?
By cogent them what they can apprehend to get out of your presentation afore you even begin, you can advice grab their absorption afore you even airing out in foreground of them. So not alone are you abutting with your admirers through the ability of amusement by application jokes to accessible a presentation, but you are aswell relaying the allowances they will get.
If you are not bright on the term, a artery antic is a antic you get told by a acquaintance or plan aide in a amusing situation. Such as the "man walks into a bar..." blazon jokes. More generally than not these do not accept an authorship.
But you do not accept to use those. You can artlessly actualize your own presentation addition jokes, but harnessing your own faculty of humor. Can you anticipate of something humorous, and accordant to your presentation which the being introducing you can apprehend out? Quick tip; if you do accomplish abiding it is adapted for the ambiance you are speaking in.
Is there a way that you can acquisition a amusing quote, or central antic that connects able-bodied with your presentation as able-bodied as with your audience?
You can use artery jokes, but I would accommodate two warnings if you do so. The aboriginal is if you use a artery antic I would adapt it so that it was in my words and I would personalise it. Secondly, be actual accurate if you acquisition a artery antic online or in a book. There is a actual top adventitious that anyone abroad may be application the aforementioned joke. If they are on the aforementioned bill as you it could be dangerous. Or if you are the alone speaker, you ability accept anyone advancing up to you afterwards and cogent you that they had heard the antic before.
Also, abounding presenters decay admired admirers affiliation time by accepting their addition arranged with biographical information. You apperceive the type, "our next apostle as an MBA, BBC and NBC..." who cares?
Remember that your admirers is consistently traveling to be thinking: "what is in it for me?" So why not acquaint them appropriate off the bat? Inform your admirers absolutely what they will get out of alert to you. What is their yield away? Will they apprentice a specific set of tools? Are you giving them an activity plan?
By cogent them what they can apprehend to get out of your presentation afore you even begin, you can advice grab their absorption afore you even airing out in foreground of them. So not alone are you abutting with your admirers through the ability of amusement by application jokes to accessible a presentation, but you are aswell relaying the allowances they will get.
आज भी है !!!!!!!!
Teri yaad se rishta kal bhi tha
teri yaad se rishta aaj bhi hai,,
Dil apna dukhta kal bhi tha
dil ye udaas aaj bhi hai,,
Jo pyar hum tum karte they
woh pyar to zinda aaj bhi hai,,
Hum bichad gaye is doori mein
tum door ho majboori mein,,
Kabhi waqt mile to chali ana
khula dil ka darwaza aaj bhi hai,,
Na sataao, na tadpaao..... .
na mehfil mein yu tanha chodo,
Teri yaad me jaage kal bhi they,
teri yaad me jaage aaj bhi hain......
teri yaad se rishta aaj bhi hai,,
Dil apna dukhta kal bhi tha
dil ye udaas aaj bhi hai,,
Jo pyar hum tum karte they
woh pyar to zinda aaj bhi hai,,
Hum bichad gaye is doori mein
tum door ho majboori mein,,
Kabhi waqt mile to chali ana
khula dil ka darwaza aaj bhi hai,,
Na sataao, na tadpaao..... .
na mehfil mein yu tanha chodo,
Teri yaad me jaage kal bhi they,
teri yaad me jaage aaj bhi hain......
खुशबू को महसूस कर जाया करते हैं
आज काफ़ी दिन बाद मैंने अपने ब्लॉग पर लिख रहा हूँ | बहुत सोचा क्या लिखा जाए | तो ख्याल आया उसके बारे में लिखूं जिसे मैंने कभी नही भूल सकता
तो उसके लिए १ शेर :-
दीपक श्रीवास्तव
तो उसके लिए १ शेर :-
धन्यवाद
कुछ रिश्ते होते हैं "हवाओं" की तरह,
बनके "खुशबू" ज़िन्दगी मैं घुल जाया करते हैं,
कुछ शख्स होते हैं "धुन" की तरह,
बनके "ग़ज़ल" ज़िन्दगी सुरमई कर जाया करते हैं,
जाने क्यूँ जब भी ज़िक्र होता है नाम का आपके,
हम "ग़ज़ल" की "धुन" और "हवाओं" की "खुशबू" को महसूस कर जाया करते हैं.......
दीपक श्रीवास्तव
Dog vs Ferrari
A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about 10 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his tractor, and his dog old Joe trots along beside him.
Halfway through the plowing, the tractor runs out of fuel. He wanders out to the road and flags down a ride, which just happens to be a Ferrari.
The driver says, "You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my car."
The farmer says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up."
The driver figures he'll show the farmer just what his car can do and lets it rip. Just as he is going into 5th gear, he looks out the window and sure enough Old Joe is right beside him. He can't wait to have a look at the amazing dog, so he slams on the brakes, and the car stops rather abruptly.
The driver jumps out exclaiming, "He's the most incredible dog I've ever seen! But what kind of collar is that he's wearing?"
The farmer shook his head and said, "That's not a collar. That's his asshole. He's not used to stopping that fast.
Halfway through the plowing, the tractor runs out of fuel. He wanders out to the road and flags down a ride, which just happens to be a Ferrari.
The driver says, "You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my car."
The farmer says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up."
The driver figures he'll show the farmer just what his car can do and lets it rip. Just as he is going into 5th gear, he looks out the window and sure enough Old Joe is right beside him. He can't wait to have a look at the amazing dog, so he slams on the brakes, and the car stops rather abruptly.
The driver jumps out exclaiming, "He's the most incredible dog I've ever seen! But what kind of collar is that he's wearing?"
The farmer shook his head and said, "That's not a collar. That's his asshole. He's not used to stopping that fast.
TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS
Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
Bday,
Chew,
Dance,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
History,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Links,
Sad News,
Sher,
SMS,
गुस्ताखी माफ़,
हिन्दी
|
1 comments
Snake Bite
Santa and Banta were hiking in the woods when Santa is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town for a doctor," Banta says.
He runs 10 miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is busy delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
Banta runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" Santa asks.
"He says you're gonna die."
"I'll go into town for a doctor," Banta says.
He runs 10 miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is busy delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
Banta runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" Santa asks.
"He says you're gonna die."
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
Bday,
Dance,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
Human,
Joke,
Links,
Poem,
Sad News,
व्यंग्य
|
0
comments
Joke with Work
A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydneys larger constructions.
First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "What’s that!” In reply the Australian said, "Thats the Gladesville Bridge".
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?” The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men."
The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men."
Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" came the reply.
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?” The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men". The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men."
By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbour Bridge came into view.
Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?"
The Australian Engineer replied, "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "What’s that!” In reply the Australian said, "Thats the Gladesville Bridge".
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?” The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men."
The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men."
Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" came the reply.
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build?” The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men". The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men."
By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbour Bridge came into view.
Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?"
The Australian Engineer replied, "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
Is Windows a Virus
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.
Labels:
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
History,
Human,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Links,
Love,
SMS,
Story,
Thoughts
|
0
comments
प्रोफेशनल
एक डॉक्टर साहब एक पार्टी में गए । अपने बीच शहर के एक प्रतिष्ठित डॉक्टर को पाकर लोगों ने उन्हें घेर लिया। किसी को जुकाम था तो किसी के पेट में गैस। सभी मुफ्त की राय लेने के चक्कर में थे। शिष्टाचारवश डॉक्टर साहब किसी को मना नहीं कर पा रहे थे।
उसी पार्टी में शहर के एक नामी वकील भी आए हुए थे। मौका मिलते ही डॉक्टर साहब वकील साहब के पास पहुंचे और उन्हें एक ओर ले जाकर बोले - यार ! मैं तो परेशान हो गया हूं। सभी फ्री में इलाज कराने के चक्कर में हैं। तुम्हें भी ऐसे लोग मिलते हैं क्या ?
वकील साहब - बहुत मिलते हैं ।
डॉक्टर साहब - तो फिर उनसे कैसे निपटते हो ?
वकील साहब - बिलकुल सीधा तरीका है । मैं उन्हें सलाह देता हूं जैसा कि वो चाहते हैं। बाद में उनके घर बिल भिजवा देता हूं।
यह बात डॉक्टर साहब को कुछ जम गई । अगले रोज उन्होंने भी पार्टी में मिले कुछ लोगों के नाम बिल बनाए और उन्हें भिजवाने ही वाले थे कि तभी उनका नौकर अन्दर आया और बोला - साहब, कोई आपसे मिलना चाहता है ।
डॉक्टर साहब - कौन है ?
नौकर - वकील साहब का चपरासी है । कहता है कल रात पार्टी में आपने वकील साहब से जो राय ली थी उसका बिल लाया है .......
Labels:
Bday,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
Human,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Links,
Sad News
|
1 comments
Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
Bday,
Friendship,
Hindi Joke,
History,
Knowledge,
Love,
Sad News,
Sher,
Thoughts,
गुस्ताखी माफ़,
फोटोग्राफ्स,
हिन्दी
|
0
comments
How Long?????
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn`t home.
" Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"
" She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don`t really know," he said. "She`s been there eleven years now."
" Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"
" She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don`t really know," he said. "She`s been there eleven years now."
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
Bday,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
History,
Human,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Ladki,
Links,
Love,
Sad News,
Sher,
SMS,
Thoughts
|
0
comments
Shave The Beard
A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!"
"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice.
"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.
That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
"Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!"
"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice.
"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.
That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
Labels:
Friendship,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
Human,
Knowledge,
Love,
Story,
गुस्ताखी माफ़,
फोटोग्राफ्स
|
0
comments
Amazing Jokes
Ladies toilet:-
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy."Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands."Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that" she says "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies toilet".
Labels:
English Joke,
Friendship,
Gallary,
History,
Sad News,
SMS,
Thoughts,
गुस्ताखी माफ़
|
0
comments
rich man and God
There once was a rich man who was dying. While on his death bed, he tried to negotiate with God to have God allow him to bring his earthly treasures with him to heaven.
"God, please, I have worked so hard to accumulate all these riches. Can't I bring them along?"
"This is very unusual," said God, "but since you have been such a faithful steward, I will allow you to bring one suitcase." The man immediately had a servant fill a large suitcase with gold bricks.
Shortly thereafter, he died. When he arrived at the pearly gates, he was stopped by St. Peter. "I'm sorry sir, but you know the rule -- 'you can't take it with you.' You may enter, but the suitcase has to stay outside."
"But God told me I could bring one suitcase," the man protested.
"Well, if God says it's okay -- but I still need to examine the contents before you enter."
St. Peter took the suitcase from the man, opened it, and, looking very puzzled, said to the man, "You brought pavement?"
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
History,
Human,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Ladki,
Thoughts
|
0
comments
गुदगुदी
मरीज (डाक्टर से) - ऐसी बीमारी को सहने से अच्छा तो मर जाना अच्छा है।
डाक्टर (मरीज से) - हम कोशिश तो कर रहे हैं।
बच्चा (पिता से) - एक मूछों वाला आदमी बाहर खड़ा है।
पिता (बच्चे से) - उसे कह दो हमें मूछों की जरूरत नहीं है, हमारी मूछें हैं।
जज (चोर से) - मालिक के होते हुए आपने चोरी कैसे की?
चोर (जज से) - हुजूर! आप सीखकर क्या करेंगे?
संता (बंता से) - मैं चाहता हूं कि मेरी पत्नी बुद्धिमान हो, सुंदर हो और मीठी बोलने वाली हो।
बंता (संता से) - लेकिन इतनी मंहगाई में तुम तीन पत्नियों का खर्च कैसे बर्दाश्त करोगे?
एक बार एक आदमी शंकर भगवान की तपस्या की
और शंकर भगवान प्रशन हो गए और बोले कोई बरदान माग ले
उस इन्शान ने बोला मेरे को गिटार दे दो प्रभु
शंकर भगवान बोले कुछ और मांग लो मई गिटार नही दे सकता
उस बय्क्ति ने बोला क्यूँ ?शंकर भगवान बोले !
अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता तो मई डमरू क्यूँ बजता
डाक्टर (मरीज से) - हम कोशिश तो कर रहे हैं।
बच्चा (पिता से) - एक मूछों वाला आदमी बाहर खड़ा है।
पिता (बच्चे से) - उसे कह दो हमें मूछों की जरूरत नहीं है, हमारी मूछें हैं।
जज (चोर से) - मालिक के होते हुए आपने चोरी कैसे की?
चोर (जज से) - हुजूर! आप सीखकर क्या करेंगे?
संता (बंता से) - मैं चाहता हूं कि मेरी पत्नी बुद्धिमान हो, सुंदर हो और मीठी बोलने वाली हो।
बंता (संता से) - लेकिन इतनी मंहगाई में तुम तीन पत्नियों का खर्च कैसे बर्दाश्त करोगे?
एक बार एक आदमी शंकर भगवान की तपस्या की
और शंकर भगवान प्रशन हो गए और बोले कोई बरदान माग ले
उस इन्शान ने बोला मेरे को गिटार दे दो प्रभु
शंकर भगवान बोले कुछ और मांग लो मई गिटार नही दे सकता
उस बय्क्ति ने बोला क्यूँ ?शंकर भगवान बोले !
अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता तो मई डमरू क्यूँ बजता
Labels:
Adult Jokes,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Gallary,
Hindi Joke,
Joke,
SMS,
गुस्ताखी माफ़,
व्यंग्य,
हिन्दी
|
1 comments
Question And Answer
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90 Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle. B. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their Heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90 Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle. B. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their Heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Labels:
Bday,
English Joke,
Friendship,
Funny,
Joke,
Knowledge,
Poem,
Sad News,
SMS,
Story,
Thoughts,
व्यंग्य
|
0
comments
Unka Waada Hai Ki Vo laut Ayenge
Pucho na us kagaj se,jis pe hum dil ke bayan likhte hai,Tanhayino me beeti baate tamam likhte hai,Wo Kalam bhi dewani ho gayi,jis se hum AAP ka Naam likhte hai.
Apne haathon se yun chehre ko chupate kyun ho, mujh se sharmate ho toh yun samne aate kyun ho, Tum kabhi meri tarah kar bhi lo ikraar-e-vafa, pyaar karte ho toh phir pyaar chupate kyun ho
Humein unki ebadat se fursat nahi milti ,log na jane kisko khuda kehte hain ,dil mein rakha hai unko,log na jane kyon juda kehte hain.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.
Apne haathon se yun chehre ko chupate kyun ho, mujh se sharmate ho toh yun samne aate kyun ho, Tum kabhi meri tarah kar bhi lo ikraar-e-vafa, pyaar karte ho toh phir pyaar chupate kyun ho
Humein unki ebadat se fursat nahi milti ,log na jane kisko khuda kehte hain ,dil mein rakha hai unko,log na jane kyon juda kehte hain.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)