Showing posts with label SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SMS. Show all posts
Funny Jokes
Posted by
deepak
Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.
Duniyaa me mohabbat karne waalo ki,
Takdeer badalti rahti hai,
Shisha to wahi rahta hai,
Tasweer badalti rahti hai.
Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.
Funny - Jokes to Open a Presentation
An simple and simple way to anon add amusement to your presentation is to cover it in your introduction. This way you can potentially accept your admirers bedlam even afore you set bottom on stage, this is not a bad thing. Now, if I say you can use jokes to accessible a presentation you do not necessarily accept to use a artery joke.
If you are not bright on the term, a artery antic is a antic you get told by a acquaintance or plan aide in a amusing situation. Such as the "man walks into a bar..." blazon jokes. More generally than not these do not accept an authorship.
But you do not accept to use those. You can artlessly actualize your own presentation addition jokes, but harnessing your own faculty of humor. Can you anticipate of something humorous, and accordant to your presentation which the being introducing you can apprehend out? Quick tip; if you do accomplish abiding it is adapted for the ambiance you are speaking in.
Is there a way that you can acquisition a amusing quote, or central antic that connects able-bodied with your presentation as able-bodied as with your audience?
You can use artery jokes, but I would accommodate two warnings if you do so. The aboriginal is if you use a artery antic I would adapt it so that it was in my words and I would personalise it. Secondly, be actual accurate if you acquisition a artery antic online or in a book. There is a actual top adventitious that anyone abroad may be application the aforementioned joke. If they are on the aforementioned bill as you it could be dangerous. Or if you are the alone speaker, you ability accept anyone advancing up to you afterwards and cogent you that they had heard the antic before.
Also, abounding presenters decay admired admirers affiliation time by accepting their addition arranged with biographical information. You apperceive the type, "our next apostle as an MBA, BBC and NBC..." who cares?
Remember that your admirers is consistently traveling to be thinking: "what is in it for me?" So why not acquaint them appropriate off the bat? Inform your admirers absolutely what they will get out of alert to you. What is their yield away? Will they apprentice a specific set of tools? Are you giving them an activity plan?
By cogent them what they can apprehend to get out of your presentation afore you even begin, you can advice grab their absorption afore you even airing out in foreground of them. So not alone are you abutting with your admirers through the ability of amusement by application jokes to accessible a presentation, but you are aswell relaying the allowances they will get.
If you are not bright on the term, a artery antic is a antic you get told by a acquaintance or plan aide in a amusing situation. Such as the "man walks into a bar..." blazon jokes. More generally than not these do not accept an authorship.
But you do not accept to use those. You can artlessly actualize your own presentation addition jokes, but harnessing your own faculty of humor. Can you anticipate of something humorous, and accordant to your presentation which the being introducing you can apprehend out? Quick tip; if you do accomplish abiding it is adapted for the ambiance you are speaking in.
Is there a way that you can acquisition a amusing quote, or central antic that connects able-bodied with your presentation as able-bodied as with your audience?
You can use artery jokes, but I would accommodate two warnings if you do so. The aboriginal is if you use a artery antic I would adapt it so that it was in my words and I would personalise it. Secondly, be actual accurate if you acquisition a artery antic online or in a book. There is a actual top adventitious that anyone abroad may be application the aforementioned joke. If they are on the aforementioned bill as you it could be dangerous. Or if you are the alone speaker, you ability accept anyone advancing up to you afterwards and cogent you that they had heard the antic before.
Also, abounding presenters decay admired admirers affiliation time by accepting their addition arranged with biographical information. You apperceive the type, "our next apostle as an MBA, BBC and NBC..." who cares?
Remember that your admirers is consistently traveling to be thinking: "what is in it for me?" So why not acquaint them appropriate off the bat? Inform your admirers absolutely what they will get out of alert to you. What is their yield away? Will they apprentice a specific set of tools? Are you giving them an activity plan?
By cogent them what they can apprehend to get out of your presentation afore you even begin, you can advice grab their absorption afore you even airing out in foreground of them. So not alone are you abutting with your admirers through the ability of amusement by application jokes to accessible a presentation, but you are aswell relaying the allowances they will get.
WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic weight: (don’t even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS
Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."
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Is Windows a Virus
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.
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How Long?????
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn`t home.
" Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"
" She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don`t really know," he said. "She`s been there eleven years now."
" Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"
" She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don`t really know," he said. "She`s been there eleven years now."
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Amazing Jokes
Ladies toilet:-
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy."Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands."Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that" she says "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies toilet".
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गुदगुदी
मरीज (डाक्टर से) - ऐसी बीमारी को सहने से अच्छा तो मर जाना अच्छा है।
डाक्टर (मरीज से) - हम कोशिश तो कर रहे हैं।
बच्चा (पिता से) - एक मूछों वाला आदमी बाहर खड़ा है।
पिता (बच्चे से) - उसे कह दो हमें मूछों की जरूरत नहीं है, हमारी मूछें हैं।
जज (चोर से) - मालिक के होते हुए आपने चोरी कैसे की?
चोर (जज से) - हुजूर! आप सीखकर क्या करेंगे?
संता (बंता से) - मैं चाहता हूं कि मेरी पत्नी बुद्धिमान हो, सुंदर हो और मीठी बोलने वाली हो।
बंता (संता से) - लेकिन इतनी मंहगाई में तुम तीन पत्नियों का खर्च कैसे बर्दाश्त करोगे?
एक बार एक आदमी शंकर भगवान की तपस्या की
और शंकर भगवान प्रशन हो गए और बोले कोई बरदान माग ले
उस इन्शान ने बोला मेरे को गिटार दे दो प्रभु
शंकर भगवान बोले कुछ और मांग लो मई गिटार नही दे सकता
उस बय्क्ति ने बोला क्यूँ ?शंकर भगवान बोले !
अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता तो मई डमरू क्यूँ बजता
डाक्टर (मरीज से) - हम कोशिश तो कर रहे हैं।
बच्चा (पिता से) - एक मूछों वाला आदमी बाहर खड़ा है।
पिता (बच्चे से) - उसे कह दो हमें मूछों की जरूरत नहीं है, हमारी मूछें हैं।
जज (चोर से) - मालिक के होते हुए आपने चोरी कैसे की?
चोर (जज से) - हुजूर! आप सीखकर क्या करेंगे?
संता (बंता से) - मैं चाहता हूं कि मेरी पत्नी बुद्धिमान हो, सुंदर हो और मीठी बोलने वाली हो।
बंता (संता से) - लेकिन इतनी मंहगाई में तुम तीन पत्नियों का खर्च कैसे बर्दाश्त करोगे?
एक बार एक आदमी शंकर भगवान की तपस्या की
और शंकर भगवान प्रशन हो गए और बोले कोई बरदान माग ले
उस इन्शान ने बोला मेरे को गिटार दे दो प्रभु
शंकर भगवान बोले कुछ और मांग लो मई गिटार नही दे सकता
उस बय्क्ति ने बोला क्यूँ ?शंकर भगवान बोले !
अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता तो मई डमरू क्यूँ बजता
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Question And Answer
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90 Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle. B. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their Heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90 Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle. B. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their Heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
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Unka Waada Hai Ki Vo laut Ayenge
Pucho na us kagaj se,jis pe hum dil ke bayan likhte hai,Tanhayino me beeti baate tamam likhte hai,Wo Kalam bhi dewani ho gayi,jis se hum AAP ka Naam likhte hai.
Apne haathon se yun chehre ko chupate kyun ho, mujh se sharmate ho toh yun samne aate kyun ho, Tum kabhi meri tarah kar bhi lo ikraar-e-vafa, pyaar karte ho toh phir pyaar chupate kyun ho
Humein unki ebadat se fursat nahi milti ,log na jane kisko khuda kehte hain ,dil mein rakha hai unko,log na jane kyon juda kehte hain.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.
Apne haathon se yun chehre ko chupate kyun ho, mujh se sharmate ho toh yun samne aate kyun ho, Tum kabhi meri tarah kar bhi lo ikraar-e-vafa, pyaar karte ho toh phir pyaar chupate kyun ho
Humein unki ebadat se fursat nahi milti ,log na jane kisko khuda kehte hain ,dil mein rakha hai unko,log na jane kyon juda kehte hain.
Unka waada hai ki vo laut ayenge,issi umeed par hum jiye jayenge,yeh intezaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyaara hai,kar rahe the, kar rahe hai or kiye jayenge.
True Love
Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"
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My Dad Scribbles
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
pyaar mohabbat chat status ke sahaare
मुझे देख कर अच्छा लगा की लोग प्यार के बारे मी अभी भी कुछ ख़याल तो रखते हैं क्योंकि आज के भागदौड़ की जिंदगी में लोगो के पास इतना समय कहा रहता है एक दुसरे से मिले और अपने बातों का इजहार करें लेकिन ये कमबख्त इंटरनेट हर मुश्किल आसान कर देता है अब आज का स्टेटस जो लोगो के gtalk में लगा है
-------------------------------------------------
Deepak Shrivastava:--
Deepak Jangir:--
बस मेरे समझ में १ बात नही आ रही है ये मामला क्या है???
अब इन्हे देखें यह कस्टम मेसेज मैंने सुबह किसी और का देखा था हो सकता है मैं सही न होऊं अभी जिसके पास है मुझे पता है यह इन सब चक्कर में नही है
पर किसके चक्कर मैं हैं ????
Katy:--
-------------------------------------------------
Deepak Shrivastava:--
Sochte the...paani se juda hokar Ye 'MachhliyaaN' itna kyoN chatpatati hai,NaDhanjet Dubey:-
maaloom tha...nazdikiyaaN aadat or...Aadat...aksar Jindgi ban jaati hai.
ये आई लव यू कहना जीतना आसान है उतना हीन मुश्कील है इसको आगे भी जारी
रखना,क्युंकी ये आई लव यू कहने वाले इस दुनीया मे बहुत हैं लेकीन कीतने
लोग सफल हुए हैं ये आज तक दफ़न कहानी है, आशा है मेरे दोस्त तुम भी समझ
जाओगे.....
Deepak Jangir:--
Kabi Khud bhi Mere paas aa,Meri Baat sun Mera Saath de.....Jo Khalish hai Dil seLisa :-
Nikal ker,Mujhe Uljhno se Nijaat de.....Tujhe Sochna Mera Tamnaa,Tujhe Dekhna
Meri Aarzoo.....Mujhe Dil de apne Khayal ka,Mujhe Qurb ki ek Raat de.....Meri
Zindagi Mere saath chal,Mere Haath mai apna Haath de.....Mujhe mai apna Haath
de.....Mujhe Ghum bhi Khushi se Qabool hain,Jo Tu agar Mera Saath
apne jajbat ko nagmo main rachane ke liye maine dil main dhandkan ki tarah
basaya tumhe..main tassbur bhi judai ka kese karu maine haathon ki lakiro se
churaya hai tumhe..
बस मेरे समझ में १ बात नही आ रही है ये मामला क्या है???
अब इन्हे देखें यह कस्टम मेसेज मैंने सुबह किसी और का देखा था हो सकता है मैं सही न होऊं अभी जिसके पास है मुझे पता है यह इन सब चक्कर में नही है
पर किसके चक्कर मैं हैं ????
Katy:--
Dilon se khelne ka hunar hume nahi aata, Isiliye ishq ki baazi hum haar
gaye, Meri zindagi se shayad unhe bahut pyar tha, Isiliye mujhe
zinda hi maar gaye
अगर आपमें से किसी को भी इन मेसेज पर कोई आपति हो तो दिमान न लगाएं और १ मेल करें यहाँ :-- शिप्रा मिश्रा मैं आपने वादा करती हूँ १० मिनट के अन्दर आपके नाम और मेसेज हट जायेंगे धन्यवाद
आज भी इन आँखों में वो खामोशियाँ क्यों है
मुद्दत हो गयी उन तनहाइयों को गुजरे ,
आज भी इन आँखों में वो खामोशियाँ क्यों है
चुन चुन कर जिसकी यादों को अपने जीवन से निकाला मैंने
मेरे दिल पर आज भी उसकी हुकूमत क्यों है
तोड़ दिया जिसने यकीं मोहब्बत से मेरा
वो शख्स आज भी मेरे प्यार के काबिल क्यों है
रास ना आये जिसको चाहत मेरी
आज भी वो मेरे दिन और रात में शामिल क्यों है
खत्म हो गया जो रिश्ता वो आज भी सांस ले रहा है
मेरे वर्तमान में जीवित वो आज भी मेरा अतीत क्यों है
आज भी इन आँखों में वो खामोशियाँ क्यों है
चुन चुन कर जिसकी यादों को अपने जीवन से निकाला मैंने
मेरे दिल पर आज भी उसकी हुकूमत क्यों है
तोड़ दिया जिसने यकीं मोहब्बत से मेरा
वो शख्स आज भी मेरे प्यार के काबिल क्यों है
रास ना आये जिसको चाहत मेरी
आज भी वो मेरे दिन और रात में शामिल क्यों है
खत्म हो गया जो रिश्ता वो आज भी सांस ले रहा है
मेरे वर्तमान में जीवित वो आज भी मेरा अतीत क्यों है
हम तुम्हे हर एक तारे में नज़र आया करेंगे
किस कद्र खूब है सादगी आपकी
हमे आज भी याद है दिल्लगी आपकी
जब भी मिले है फुरसत के लम्हे
दिल ने महसूस की है कमी आपकी
चाँद को कभी अकेला ना पाओगे
आगोश में सितारे मिल ही जायेंगे
कभी अगर तन्हा हो तो ऑंखें बंद कर लेना
अनजाने चेहरों में इस दोस्त को ज़रुर पाओगे
इश्क है वही जो हो एक तरफा
इजहार है इश्क तो ख्वाईश बन जाती है
है अगर इश्क तो आँखों में दिखाओ
जुबां खोलने से ये नुमाइश बन जाती है
शायद फिर से वो तकदीर मिल जाए
जीवन का सबसे हसीं पल मिल जाए
चल फिर से बनाए सागर पे रेत का मकान
शायद वापिस अपना बचपन मिल जाए
वो यारो कि महफिल वो मुस्कुराते पल
दिल से जुदा है अपना बीता हुआ कल
कभी गुज़रती थी ज़िंदगी वक़्त बिताने में
आज वक़्त गुज़र जाता है , उन यादों को जुटाने में
तुम्हारी दुनिया से जाने के बाद
हम तुम्हे हर एक तारे में नज़र आया करेंगे
तुम हर पल कोई दुआ माँग लेना
और हम हर पल टूट जाया करेंगे
हमे आज भी याद है दिल्लगी आपकी
जब भी मिले है फुरसत के लम्हे
दिल ने महसूस की है कमी आपकी
चाँद को कभी अकेला ना पाओगे
आगोश में सितारे मिल ही जायेंगे
कभी अगर तन्हा हो तो ऑंखें बंद कर लेना
अनजाने चेहरों में इस दोस्त को ज़रुर पाओगे
इश्क है वही जो हो एक तरफा
इजहार है इश्क तो ख्वाईश बन जाती है
है अगर इश्क तो आँखों में दिखाओ
जुबां खोलने से ये नुमाइश बन जाती है
शायद फिर से वो तकदीर मिल जाए
जीवन का सबसे हसीं पल मिल जाए
चल फिर से बनाए सागर पे रेत का मकान
शायद वापिस अपना बचपन मिल जाए
वो यारो कि महफिल वो मुस्कुराते पल
दिल से जुदा है अपना बीता हुआ कल
कभी गुज़रती थी ज़िंदगी वक़्त बिताने में
आज वक़्त गुज़र जाता है , उन यादों को जुटाने में
तुम्हारी दुनिया से जाने के बाद
हम तुम्हे हर एक तारे में नज़र आया करेंगे
तुम हर पल कोई दुआ माँग लेना
और हम हर पल टूट जाया करेंगे
संता बँटा और मोबाइल
एक बार संता और बंता ने मोबाइल लेने की सोची .
दोनों मोबाइल लेने मोबाइल की दुकान मी चल दिये.लेकिन कीमत बहुत ज्यादा होने के कारन वो दोनों मोबाइल नही ले पाए .
इसके बाद उन्होंने एक तरकीब निकली जैसा की पहले के समय मी लोग संदेश भेजने के लिए किया करते थे . उन्होंने मोबाइल की जगह कबूतर पलने की सोची . उन्होंने ने दो कबूतर के बच्चे लिए उसे पाल कर बड़ा किया उसे संदेश ले आने और ले जाने का तरकीब शिखाया . इसके बाद दोनों कबूतर संता का संदेश बँटा के पास और बँटा का संदेश संता के पास ले आने और ले जाने लगा .ये काम निरंतर चलता रहा .
एक दिन रात के समय मी संता का कबूतर बँटा के घर आ के उसे जगा दिया .कबूतर के गले मे एक कागज था पर वो सदा था उसमे कोई संदेश नही था .बँटा को गुस्सा आ गया उसने कबूतर को मर कर भगा दिया .कुछ देर बाद कबूतर फ़िर से आया .लेकिन इस बार भी कागज सदा था.बँटा को बहुत गुस्सा आया .सुबह होते ही वो संता के घर चल दिया . संता के घर पहुच कर बँटा ने कहा जब तेरे पास कोई संदेश नही था टू मुघे परेशान कोयुं किया .इसपर संता ने कहा .हा हा हा मई तो मिस काल कर रहा था
दोनों मोबाइल लेने मोबाइल की दुकान मी चल दिये.लेकिन कीमत बहुत ज्यादा होने के कारन वो दोनों मोबाइल नही ले पाए .
इसके बाद उन्होंने एक तरकीब निकली जैसा की पहले के समय मी लोग संदेश भेजने के लिए किया करते थे . उन्होंने मोबाइल की जगह कबूतर पलने की सोची . उन्होंने ने दो कबूतर के बच्चे लिए उसे पाल कर बड़ा किया उसे संदेश ले आने और ले जाने का तरकीब शिखाया . इसके बाद दोनों कबूतर संता का संदेश बँटा के पास और बँटा का संदेश संता के पास ले आने और ले जाने लगा .ये काम निरंतर चलता रहा .
एक दिन रात के समय मी संता का कबूतर बँटा के घर आ के उसे जगा दिया .कबूतर के गले मे एक कागज था पर वो सदा था उसमे कोई संदेश नही था .बँटा को गुस्सा आ गया उसने कबूतर को मर कर भगा दिया .कुछ देर बाद कबूतर फ़िर से आया .लेकिन इस बार भी कागज सदा था.बँटा को बहुत गुस्सा आया .सुबह होते ही वो संता के घर चल दिया . संता के घर पहुच कर बँटा ने कहा जब तेरे पास कोई संदेश नही था टू मुघे परेशान कोयुं किया .इसपर संता ने कहा .हा हा हा मई तो मिस काल कर रहा था
Enme Aapki Hi Khushbu Basi Hai
Apke Ishq Mai Hame Jannat Mili Hai,
Es Tute Hue Dil Ko Jeene Ki Chahat Mili Hai..
Dekh Sakte Hai Aap En Kavitaao Mai
Enme Aapki Hi Khushbu Basi Hai
Tera Andaaz Yaad Aaya Hai...
Dil ne jab bhi fareb khaaya hai
Tera andaaz yaad aaya hai
Yeh bhi khuch manzilon se kam to nahin
Raasto mein joh khoya paaya hai
Tum numaaish liye ho daagon kii
Humne zakhmon ko bhi chuppaayaa hai
Koi marta nahin kisi ke liye
Humne duniya ko aazmaayaa hai
Waqt-E-Hizraan ya vasl ho Ashique
Humne dono mein tujhko paaya hai...
Thanks
Yogesh kashyap
Tera andaaz yaad aaya hai
Yeh bhi khuch manzilon se kam to nahin
Raasto mein joh khoya paaya hai
Tum numaaish liye ho daagon kii
Humne zakhmon ko bhi chuppaayaa hai
Koi marta nahin kisi ke liye
Humne duniya ko aazmaayaa hai
Waqt-E-Hizraan ya vasl ho Ashique
Humne dono mein tujhko paaya hai...
Thanks
Yogesh kashyap
MUNNA BHAI AUR CIRCUIT
PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
______________________________
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
______________________________
MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
_______________________________
CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.
________________________________
MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur who char mahinay mein bolne lagay Ga.
_______________________________
PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth Bata mamu.
______________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
______________________________
Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN : What is that?
CIRCUIT : Air India
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.
____________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
____________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, TU kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur who bhi ulta?
________________________________
MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
________________________________
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
______________________________
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
______________________________
MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
_______________________________
CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.
________________________________
MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur who char mahinay mein bolne lagay Ga.
_______________________________
PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth Bata mamu.
______________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
______________________________
Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN : What is that?
CIRCUIT : Air India
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.
____________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
____________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, TU kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur who bhi ulta?
________________________________
MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
________________________________
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
dekhkar aa jati hai chehre par raunaq
[1]
unko dekhkar jo aa jati hai chehre par raunaq,
woh samajhte hain ki beemar ka haal achchha hai!!
hum jante hai ki zannat ki hoqeeqat kya hai,
gaalib dil ko behlaane ka ye khyaal achchha hai!!
[2]
Teri Ulffat ko kabhi nakam nahi hony dain gy,
Teri chahat ko kabhi badnam nahi hony dain gy,
meri zindagi main kabhi sooraj nikly ya na nikly?
per teri zindagi main kabhi shaam nahi hony dain gy.
[3]
Nazar nahi aaye dil udas ho gaya,
Kuch hi pal mein koi itna khas ho gaya,
Abhi tak to kuch socha hi nahi tha,
Par unse juda hote hi pyaar ka ehsaas ho gaya
Sended By Pratima From Chandigarh
unko dekhkar jo aa jati hai chehre par raunaq,
woh samajhte hain ki beemar ka haal achchha hai!!
hum jante hai ki zannat ki hoqeeqat kya hai,
gaalib dil ko behlaane ka ye khyaal achchha hai!!
[2]
Teri Ulffat ko kabhi nakam nahi hony dain gy,
Teri chahat ko kabhi badnam nahi hony dain gy,
meri zindagi main kabhi sooraj nikly ya na nikly?
per teri zindagi main kabhi shaam nahi hony dain gy.
[3]
Nazar nahi aaye dil udas ho gaya,
Kuch hi pal mein koi itna khas ho gaya,
Abhi tak to kuch socha hi nahi tha,
Par unse juda hote hi pyaar ka ehsaas ho gaya
Sended By Pratima From Chandigarh
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