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Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum
Nazron ki khwaish,nazmon ki justaju hain hum
Khoobsurati se aur khoobsurat jo hay
Us khoobsurti ki tarif hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Dharkan ko yakeen na ho
Aisi sawan ki khooshboo hain hum
Patjhar ke foolonki nazaqat jo hay
Us nazron ki haya hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Asim ko allah ki karam ho
Aisi karam ki barish hain hum
Woh jism me jo aag lagaye
Aisi barsaat ke araish hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Aag ko bujhaye to arz ho
Un tamam rangon ki tarannum hain hum
Dhun jab bewafai kar baithe
Woh awaz ki saaz hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Khoobsurti ki shayri kahiyeto
Us nazmon me sawal hain hum
Sawalon ka halal ho in haatonse
To woh bamisaal jawab hain hum
Zamana kahe khoobsurat hain hum

Yeh daag jo mit-ti nahin damanse
Woh daag ki raushnayi hay hum
Zamaneki raushanara badnaseebi ki dilruba hain hum
Jis khoobsurti ki taugin kare ruswayi
Us khubsurti se asim hain hum
Takhdeer jo zindegi se bewafai kare
Us zindegi ke mazak hain hum

Practice makes a man perfect.....But nobody's perfect..... .so why practice?

Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.

Save water. Shower with your girl friend.

Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Love is photogenic - It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children

There should be a better way to start a day - Than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody" - But why take the risk !

God made relatives; - Thank God we can choose our friends.

When two's company, - three's the result!

माँ दारू देवी की असीम अनुकंपा से पूरे नशे मे टुन्न होकर हुक्के और माल के सनिध्य मैं हमे आज हर्षित होने का अवसर मिला है क्योंकि हमारी बिगड़ी औलाद ..........
चिरंजीव दुली चंद डांगी [NFT]
कूपत्र श्री MAALBORO
तथा
सौ. बीडीकुमारी [DETAINED]
कुपुत्र्ी श्री GOLD FLAKE ...
विवाह बंधन मे बँधने जा रहे है . आप सभी से अनुरोध है की इस पवन अवसर पर पधारे और भरपूर उत्पात मचाकर अपनी उपस्थिति को सार्थक बनाएँ बारात ब्यावरा की "देसी दारू की भट्टी" से निकलकर निकटवर्ती "अँग्रेज़ी शराब की दुकान" की ओर रात 1 बजे के बाद प्रस्थान करेगी ........

चुन्नु-मुन्नू :-- मेरे D.C. भैया की शादी में ज़लूल-ज़लूल आना...........

स्वागतोत्सुक
WILLS, ULTRA MILD ROYAL STAG, GREEN LABLE,
दर्शनाभिलाशी
ROYAL STAG, GREEN लाबले

:) Puneet
For - Deepakkoke.Blogspot.com
seoxtream@gmail.com

एक मुद्दत हुई दिल को सताती रही तेरी याद
आंसू बन लहू में घुल जाती रही तेरी याद

सुबह को लालिमअ बन छा जाती रही तेरी याद
धुप में साया बन साथ चलती रहi तेरी याद

दोपहर छाया बन तासीर दिलाती रही तेरी याद
शाम को हवा का झोन बन लुभाती रही तेरी याद

रात के अँधेरे में जुगनू बन चमकती रही तेरी याद
आसमान में तारों संग टीम टीम आती रही तेरी याद

चांदनी बन ज़मीं को नहलाती रही तेरी याद
रोज़ ख्वाब बन तेरी दीद कराती रही तेरी याद

गर्मी में हवा का झोंका बन आ जाती रही तेरी याद
इन्द्रधनुष के रंगों में रंग जाती रही तेरी याद

सर्दी में खिली धुप सी चमकती रही तेरी याद
पहाडों पर बर्फ बन बिछ जाती रही तेरी याद

फूलों पर तितली बन मंडराती रही तेरी याद
हवा को खुशबू बन महकाती रही तेरी याद

बेलों को सहारा बन बढाती रही तेरी याद
बागों को बहार बन सजाती रही तेरी याद

होली में गुलाल बन रंग उडाती रही तेरी याद
दिवाली में चिराज बन उजाले फैलाती रही तेरी याद

ईद में चाँद बन खुशियाँ लुटती रही तेरी याद
च्रिस्त्मस में संता बन तोहफे बांटी रही तेरी याद

थक गया तो दिल बहलाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद
चोट खाई तो सहलाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद

रूठ गया तो मनाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद
गिर गया तो उठाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद

सोने चला तो लोरी सुनाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद
रोने लगा तो हँसाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद

जीत गया तो जश्न मनाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद
हार गया तो समझाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद

महफ़िल में रौनक बन छा जाती रही तेरी याद
तन्हाई में साथ निभाने आ जाती रही तेरी याद

मेरे हर ज़र्रा -ओ -कतरे में बसी हुई हुई तेरी याद
मेरी ग़ज़ल से रूह तक उतर रही है तेरी याद

मौत के बाद भी "खाक " से न जुदा होगी तेरी याद
ख्श्बू बन हर तरफ फिजा में महका करेगी तेरी याद

10. Marrying a blond is a sin. Making love to a blond is a partial sin.

9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin.

8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin.

7. Bullying one's wife is a sin. Having to submit is a parital sin.

6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin.

5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin.

4. Eating beef is a sin. Eaing pork is a partial sin.

3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin.

2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin.

1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin.

Om Jai Google Hare !!
Swami Jai Google hare
Programmers ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat,
Click main door kare!!
Om Jai Google Hare !!

Jo Dhyawe vo pawe,
Dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka,
Homepage ki sampatti lawe, Homework ki sampatti karave
Kasht mite work ka,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Tum puran search engine
Tum hi Internet yaami, Swami Tum hi Internet yaami
Par karo hamari Salari, Par karo hamari apprisal,
Tum dunia ke swami,
Swami Om Jai Google hare.

Tum information ke saagar,
Tum palan karta, swami Tum palan karta,
Main moorakh khalkamii, Main Searcher tum Server-ami
Tum karta dhartaa !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Din bandhu dukh harta,
Tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere,
Apni search dikhaao, sare reasearch karao
Site par khada mein tere,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Google devta ki aarti Jo koi programmer gaawe,
Swami Jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,
Kehet SUN swami, MS Hari har swami,
Manwaanchhit fal paawe.
Swami Om Jai Google hare.

Puneet Tiwari
For - Deepakjoke.Blogspot.com

Gabbar: Arey o Sambha
Sambha: Ji Sardar
Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?
Sambha: Do Sardar
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.
Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai
Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo par mera dimag to na khao.

Sended by my Friend Punnet From Bhopaal

Rishtey to nahi rishton ki parchaiyan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

ek chhat ke tale ajnabi ho jaate hai rishtey
bistar pe chadaron se chup so jaate hai
dhunde se bhi in mein nahi garmaiyan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

jisko bhi dekhiye woh adhura sa hai yahan
jaise kahin ho aur woh aadha rakha hua
woh jab jahan jude wahi judaiyaan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

Rishtey to nahi rishton ki parchaiyan mile
yeh kaisi bheed hai bas yahan tanhaiyan mile.

हिन्दी मी यहाँ

* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.

* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.

* When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.

* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.

* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.

* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.

* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.

* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.

* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.

* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.

* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.

* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.

* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything

* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do,

and those who do and never think.

* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.

* Change your thoughts and you change your world.

* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.

* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise

and those who don't take it.

* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.

* Friendship founded on business is always better than business .

IF BILL GATES START MAKING FILMS IN BOLLYWOOD

NAMES OF HIS WOULD BE FILMS

1 Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

3. Aao Chat Kare

4. Programmer No.1

5. Mera Naam Developer

6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein

8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal

9. Tera Code Chal Gaya

10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega

11. Network Ke Us Paar

12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai

14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!

15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari

16. Login Karo Sajana

17. Naukar PC Ka

18. 1942 -- A Bug Story

19. Kaho Na Virus Hai

20. Crash Se Crash Tak

21. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

22. Password De Ke Dekho

23. Terminal Apna Login Paray

Sended by :- Seo Solutions India

Woh muskura rhe hai hume tanha chor kar,
Kiye huye sare wade tod kar,
Unke siva kahi dil lagta bhi nahi,
Ab kya karenge hum apne tute huye dil ko jor kar.

वो मुस्कुरा रहे है हमे तन्हा छोड़ कर ,
किए हुए सरे वादे तोड़ कर ,
उनके सिवा कही दिल लगता भी नही ,
अब क्या करेंगे हम अपने टूटे हुए दिल को जोड़ कर !

Jindgi Main Koi khaas Tha,
Tanhaai Ke Siva Kuch Na Paas Tha.
Paa To Lete Jindgi Main Her Khushi Lekin..
Her Khushi Main Unki Kami Ka Eahsas Tha.

Kabhi JO Yaad Aati Hai Unki,
Tasveer Seene Se Laga Lete Hai.
Intzaar Kar, Aayenge Jarur Wo,
Ye Kahkar Dil Ko Mana Lete Hai.

Unki Judai Yaad Aa Jati Hai,
Do Char Aansu Baha Lete hai.
Wo ewafa Nahi,Takdeer Bewafa hai,
Ye Kahkar Dil Ko Mana Lete Hai.

Unse To Shyad Milna Na HO Jindgi Main,
tasveer Se Hi Khud KO Mila Lete Hai,
Haqikat Main Hi Nahi Ho Paye To Kya,
Sapno main Unko Apna Bana Lete Hai..

"Lonely ????"

No......................

How can I be lonely
When you are always
In my thoughts.
I wake up with you and
Go to sleep with you.
I love you!!

Apke Ishq Mai Hame Jannat Mili Hai,
Es Tute Hue Dil Ko Jeene Ki Chahat Mili Hai..
Dekh Sakte Hai Aap En Kavitaao Mai
Enme Aapki Hi Khushbu Basi Hai

Dil ne jab bhi fareb khaaya hai
Tera andaaz yaad aaya hai

Yeh bhi khuch manzilon se kam to nahin
Raasto mein joh khoya paaya hai

Tum numaaish liye ho daagon kii
Humne zakhmon ko bhi chuppaayaa hai

Koi marta nahin kisi ke liye
Humne duniya ko aazmaayaa hai

Waqt-E-Hizraan ya vasl ho Ashique
Humne dono mein tujhko paaya hai...

Thanks
Yogesh kashyap

Om Jai Google Hare !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare Programmer’s ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat, Click main door kare!!
Om Jai Google Hare !!
Jo Dhyawe vo pawe, dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka, Homepage ki sampatti lawe,
Homework ki sampatti karave kasht mite work ka,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!
Tum puran seach engine Tum hi internet yaami,
Swami Tum hi internet yaami Par karo hamari Salari,
Par karo hamari apprisal, Tum dunia ke swami,
Swami Om Jai Google hare...

What is the difference between girls ages:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!

PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
______________________________

CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
______________________________

MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
_______________________________

CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.
________________________________

MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur who char mahinay mein bolne lagay Ga.
_______________________________

PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth Bata mamu.
______________________________

MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
______________________________

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN : What is that?
CIRCUIT : Air India
________________________________

CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.
____________________________

MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
____________________________

MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, TU kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur who bhi ulta?
________________________________

MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
________________________________

CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
________________________________

PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

एक उम्रदराज विधवा और विधुर में पिछले पांच सालों से बड़ी गहरी दोस्ती थी। पुरुष ने आखिरकार महिला के आगे शादी का प्रस्ताव कर ही डाला। महिला फौरन हां कह दी।
अगली सुबह जब वह जागा तो उसे ठीक से याद नहीं आया कि मेरे शादी के प्रस्ताव के बारे में महिला ने क्या जवाब दिया था। हां या ना। काफी देर तक कोशिश करने के बाद भी जब याद नहीं आया तो उसने महिला को फोन लगाया और पूछा कि कल मेरे शादी के प्रस्ताव पर उसने क्या जवाब दिया था, हां या ना।
महिला ने कहा - ''भगवान का लाख लाख शुक्र है कि तुमने फोन कर लिया। जवाब तो मैंने ''हां'' ही दिया था पर मैं ये भूल गई थी कि किसको दिया था!''

*************************************************************

MALAYALEE KUTTAPPAN

Here is the story of Kuttappan the Great!

He is a Malayali working for a multinational company in Mumbai.Not
well educated and he is working as a peon.

This Kuttappan has a problem. If he hears somebody talk he will come in between saying, that I know that very well, I know him very well... like that.

One day Kuttappan's Boss a foreign educated person, a North Indian, he was talking something about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kuttappan was passing thru that way, suddenly he came in between saying that oh Arni he is my best friend.

Kuttapan's boss laughed at him saying that how can u be a friend of Arnold Schwarzenegger you are only a peon living in India .Kuttappan said if u wont believe its your problem, I cant help you.

Ok.The Manager said I am going on a trip to US next week you come as my assistant and we will go to Arnold 's house and see what happens. Kuttappan agreed with a smile.

At Clinton 's home Clinton also did the same as Schwarzenegger, asking that where were you my friend for long time? Kuttappan went to have tea with Clinton while the boss was sitting out side the gate When Kuttappan came back, boss said I have to go to Vatican to get blessings from Pope John Paul, so u come with me.

At the Vatican crowd from all over the world is waiting to see Pope John Paul. Kuttappan and his boss are also there. Boss asked Kuttappan, do you know Pope John Paul. Kuttappan said why not? Boss told Kuttappan that he will not believe this. Kuttappan asked boss to wait for some time and went inside the crowd.

After 15 minutes Kuttappan came on the balcony along with Pope John Paul. Pope John Paul was holding Kuttappan's hand. Kuttappan's boss became unconscious and fell down. When Kuttappan came back his boss was on a stretcher with nurses and paramedics at his
side.

Kuttappan asked, Sir what happened to you.
Then boss told; Kuttappa u know Arnold I believe, u know Clinton I
believe and u know Pope John Paul I believe that too. But......... .

WHEN U CAME WITH THE POPE AT THE BALCONY THE CROWD WERE ASKING WHO IS HOLDING THE HAND OF KUTTAPPAN after hearing that I became unconscious.

*************************************************************

Thanks To
Sended By :-Seo Solutions India

तीन दोस्त मर गये और स्वर्ग में पहुंचे। पहले दोस्त को स्वर्ग की सबसे बदसूरत और भद्दी महिला के साथ रहने को कहा गया। ''क्यों ?'' - उसने सवाल किया। ''क्योंकि जब तुम नौ साल के थे तुमने एक चिड़िया को पत्थर से मारा था।'' - यमराज ने जवाब दिया। ठीक यही दूसरे दोस्त के साथ भी हुआ। उसने भी पूछा कि उसके साथ ऐसा क्यों हो रहा है। यमराज ने उसे भी वही जवाब दिया कि जब वह नौ साल का था उसने एक चिड़िया को पत्थर से मारा था। तीसरा दोस्त यह सुनकर खुश हुआ और बोला - ''चलो अच्छा है कि मैंने ऐसा कोई काम नहीं किया।'' उसे स्वर्ग की सबसे खूबसूरत महिला का साथ नसीब हुआ। बाकी दोनों दोस्तों ने पूछा - ''क्यों ?'' ''क्योंकि जब वह महिला नौ साल की थी तब उसने एक चिड़िया को पत्थर से मारा था।'' - यमराज ने बताया।

एक 80 वर्षीय वृध्द डॉक्टर के पास चेकअप कराने के लिये गये। डॉक्टर ने उनकी पूरी जांच की और कहा - ''शारीरिक दृष्टि से सब ठीकठाक है! लेकिन आपकी मानसिक हालत कैसी है यह देखना पड़ेगा।''''भजन-पूजन में ध्यान लगाते हो ? भगवान के साथ आपका संबंध कैसा है, बताइये ?''वृध्द सज्जन बोले - ''भगवान ? भगवान तो सदा मेरे साथ ही रहते हैं! उनकी मेरे ऊपर बड़ी कृपा है। यहां तक कि हर रात को जब मैं पेशाब करने के लिये जाता हूं तो वे बाथरूम की लाइट जला देते हैं और जैसे ही मैं वापस आता हूं बन्द कर देते र्हैं। सचमुच भगवान मेरे ऊपर बड़े दयालु हैं।''यह सुनकर डॉक्टर को चक्कर आ गया। उसने वृध्द की पत्नी को बुलाया और उसे सबकुछ बताया जो कुछ वृध्द सज्जन ने कहा और पूछा - ''ये क्या मामला है ?''पत्नी ने सिर पकड़कर कहा - ''अब क्या बताऊं डॉक्टर साहब! बुढ़ऊ रोज रेफ्रिजरेटर में पेशाब कर देते हैं।''

एक दंपत्ति अपनी शादी की चालीसवीं वर्षगांठ मना रहे थे। संयोग से उस दिन पत्नी का साठवां जन्मदिन भी था। उस रात उनके घर में एक परी प्रकट हुई। उसने उन दोनों से कहा कि वे दोनों इतने लम्बे समय से बड़े प्यार से रह रहे हैं जिससे वह बहुत खुश है। परी ने कहा कि वे उससे एक एक वरदान मांग सकते हैं।
पत्नी, जो कि अपने पति से बेइंतहा प्यार करती थी, ने परी से कहा कि वह अपने पति के साथ दुनिया की सारी मनोरम जगहों की सैर करना चाहती है, पर उसके पास इतने पैसे नहीं हैं। परी ने अपनी छड़ी घुमाई और पत्नी के हाथ में हवाई जहाज के टिकटों से भरा लिफाफा आ गया।
अब मांगने की बारी पति की थी। उसने एक मिनट सोचा फिर बोला - ''ईमानदारी से कहूं, तो मैं अपने लिये अपने से 30 साल छोटी पत्नी चाहता हूं।''परी ने अपनी छड़ी घुमाई और .......... । पति महोदय तुरंत 90 साल के हो गये।

20 Little Known Facts About The Human Body

A human being loses an average of 40 to 100 strands of hair a day.

A cough releases an explosive charge of air that moves at speeds up to 60 mph.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.

A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

Every person has a unique tongue print.

According to German researchers, the risk of heart attack is higher on Monday than any other day of the week.

After spending hours working at a computer display, look at a blank piece of white paper. It will probably appear pink.

An average human drinks about 16,000 gallons of water in a lifetime.

A fingernail or toenail takes about 6 months to grow from base to tip.

An average human scalp has 100,000 hairs.

It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.

Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our bodies.

Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.

By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds. By the time you turn 70, your heart will have beat some two-and-a-half billion times (figuring on an average of 70 beats per minute.)
Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.

Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.

Every person has a unique tongue print. Every square inch of the human body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it.

Fingernails grow faster than toenails.

Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.

Ø Your skull is made up of 29 different bones.

Ø Human blood travels 60,000 miles per day on its journey through the arteries, arterioles and capillaries and back through the venules and veins. (I hope it takes the freeway.)

Ø Your ears and nose continue to grow throughout your entire life.

Ø If you were freeze-dried, 10% of your body weight would be from the microorganisms on your body. (Now doesn't that just make you want to puke.)

Ø A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.

Ø Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. (Mmmmm... This is making me hungry!)

Ø You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss. (Use this as a pickup line in the gym.)

Ø A person weighs less at high tide. (So check the time of day before getting weighed.)

Ø There are 45 miles of nerves in the skin of a human being.

Ø The average human blinks his eyes 6,205,000 times each year. (Yes, this is true. I counted.)

Ø The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the "circle of Willis" looks like a stick person with a large head.

Ø The average human produces a quart of saliva a day or 10,000 gallons in a lifetime.

Ø You use an average of 43 muscles for a frown.

Ø You use an average of 17 muscles for a smile.

Ø Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

Ø Between the time of death and the onset of rigor mortis in a human body, the contraction of the muscles can cause the body to turn over on its side. (That would be VERY freaky to watch!)

Ø Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.

Ø Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

Ø Every person has a unique tongue print. (So if you accidentally lick something at a crime scene...

Ø The average human's heart will beat 3,000,000,000 times in their lifetime. (I'm in the process of counting this one.)

ब्लॉगिंग की दुनिया मे आपका स्वागत है !
दीपक जोक (deepakjoke) में नए योगदानकर्ताओं का स्वागत है ! राहुल और प्रतिमा जी को हमारी तरफ़ से खुले दिल से स्वागत है !
मैंने आज ही सुबह देखा की २ नए योगदानकर्ता इस ब्लॉग से जुड़े है !
मैं अक्सर सोचती हूँ इतने ब्लॉग क्यों लिखे जा रहे हैं, .... बुरा मत मानिएगा... मैं भी उसी श्रेणी में हूँ, तभी तो ब्लॉग लिख रही हूँ ! हाँ तो मैं कह रही थी ...आप लिखें, और सभी पढ़ें !
ब्लॉग के ज़रिए जो विचारों का आदान प्रदान हो रहा है उस पर आप क्या सोचते हैं मुझे को ज़रुर बताइए !

धन्यवाद्
शिप्रा

एक आदमी ने अपने घर फोन किया तो उधर से एक अनजान महिला की आवाज आई।
''कौन ?'' - आदमी ने पूछा। ''मैं घर की नौकरानी बोल रही हूं ।'' - महिला ने उत्तर दिया।
''लेकिन हमारे घर में तो कोई नौकरानी नहीं है।'' - आदमी ने कहा।
''मुझे घर की मालकिन ने आज सुबह ही नौकरी पर रखा है ।'' नौकरानी ने जवाब दिया।
''अच्छा ठीक है, सुनो। इस वक्त तुम्हारी मालकिन कहां हैं? मुझे उनसे बात करनी है।'' -आदमी ने कहा।
''वह तो बेडरूम में हैं। अपने पति के साथ।'' - नौकरानी ने जवाब दिया।
''क्याऽऽऽ... ? पति के साथ...... ? पर उसका पति तो मैं हूं ........ '' - आदमी गुस्से से भन्ना गया।
उसने एक मिनट कुछ सोचा फिर बोला - ''हैलो ..... सुनो क्या तुम पचास हजार रूपये कमाना चाहोगी?''''हां... । पर मुझे करना क्या होगा ?'' - नौकरानी ने पूछा ।
''तुम मेरी अलमारी से बंदूक निकालो और उस कुतिया और उसके साथ जो आदमी है उसे गोली से उड़ा दो।''नौकरानी ने फोन नीचे रख दिया। आदमी ने पहले कदमों की और फिर दो गोलियां चलने की आवाज फोन पर सुनी।
नौकरानी ने वापस फोन उठाया और पूछा - ''अब इन लाशों का क्या करूं ?''''उन्हें स्वीमिंग पूल में डाल दो।'' - आदमी ने कहा ।
''पर आपके घर में तो स्वीमिंग पूल नहीं है।'' - नौकरानी ने जवाब दिया। लगभग तीन चार मिनट तक दोनों तरफ खामोशी छाई रही फिर आदमी की आवाज आई
''क्या ये नम्बर 7457965 ही है ?''

तीन आदमी, दो अधेड़ और एक युवा, किसी बीयर बार में बीयर पीने गये। जब वह पीने लगे तो एक आदमी बोला - ''लगता है बाहर बारिश हो रही है।'' गरमागरम बहस के बाद तय हुआ कि उम्र में सबसे छोटा छतरी लेने के लिये घर जाये। लड़का गुर्राया - ''मेरे जाने पर तुम मेरी सारी बीयर पी जाओगे।'' उसे इतमीनान दिलाया गया कि नहीं पीयेंगे, उसके हिस्से की ज्यों की त्यों रखी रहेगी। तब कहीं छोटे मियां छतरी लेने चले। रात गहराने लगी पर छोटे मियां नहीं लौटे। अन्त में एक बोला - ''क्यों न उन हजरत के हिस्से की भी पी ही ली जाये। अब तो वे आने से रहे।''दूसरा बोला - ''मैं भी यही सोच रहा था। आओ पी लें।''बार के एक कोने की छोटी सी खिड़की से तेज आवाज आई - ''अगर पीओगे तो मैं छतरी लेने नहीं जाऊंगा।''

असमा के तारे अक्सर पूछते है हमसे, क्या तुम्हे आज भी इंतज़ार है उसके लौट आने का. और ये दिल मुस्कुरा के कहता है, मुझे तो अब तक यक़ीन ना हुआ उसके चले जाने का...
Raat baaki baat baaki tamannaiye bhi adhoori hai Humare aur unke beech bas ik zara si doori hai Kaleja liye baithe hai hum mashooq ke intezaar me Zaane dekho kab yeh arzoo hoti hai!

Sended By :- Pratima

Is anjnabi duniya mein,Akela ek khawaab hu,
Sawaalo se khafa,Chhota as jawaab hu,
Jo na samjh sake,Unke liye "KOUN",
Jo samajh chuke,Unke liye kitaab hu ,
Duniya ki nazar mein,Jaane kyu chubha as,
Sabse nashili aur badnaam sharaab hu,
Sar uthakar dekho,Wo dekh raha hai tumko,
Jisko na dekha usne,Wo chamakta aaftab hu,
Aankh se dekhoge,To khush paoge,
Dil se poochoge,To dard ka sailaab hu ………!!! !

you can also raed this in Hindi at here :-अकेला एक खवाब हूँ

1 more please

Zindagi pyar bina adhuri si lagti hai,
Ek saathi bina suni suni si hoti hai
kaash ke mujhe bhi kisika saath mila hota....
Yaadon ki dhoond me teri parchhai si lagti hai,
Sannate me koi shahnai si lagti hai !!

Send By :- Pratima From Chandigarh
Thanks to Pratima from my side.

sachh to yeh hai
ki mai likh nahee sakti
bayaan karti huun
dil ke ehsaas.

aur yeh bhi sachh hai
ki lafzon se mere
ab nahee chalakti
majnuu ki pyaas.

phir bhi yeh mera
syaahi se waada tha kabhi
jab tak tuu rahegi
khatm na honge mere alfaaz.

uss khuda ki bas yeh rahmat hai
likhe jaa rahi huun geet naye
kuch bhulaa bhi do shaayad
kuch zaroor rahenge khaas.

ussne jaate hue yeh kah daala
kya waqt yuun lutaate ho
kya yahee likhoge tab bhi
jab nahee mai rahuungi paas.

mere "mahfooz" daaman par daag na aaye
isska zaroor ehtaram karti huun
rahe na rahe zindagi meri
rahe na rahe yeh ehsaas.

अखबार में पढ़ा कि इलाहबाद के कारोबारी बनियों के घर छापे में 80 टन वजन के सिक्के बरामद हुए ! एक इलाहाबादी होने के नाते शर्म से सर झुक गया, पूरे इलाहबाद का नाम "मिट्टी में मिला दिया (शोले स्टाइल में)"! अरे भाई, इलाहबाद की रेपुटेशन का कुछ तो खयाल किया होता। चण्डीगढ़ में एक अधिकारी के घर छापे में तीन कमरे हजार-हजार के नोटों से भरे हुए मिले थे, और तो और, नोयडा में सुखराम के घर से गद्दों में सिले हुए नोट ही नोट मिले थे। अहमदाबाद वालों ने तो घर से बीसियों देशों की करेंसी पकड़वाई थी, और हमारे मुन्ना भाई ने तो हथियारों का शो-रूम ही घर में रखा हुआ था। इन लोगों ने हमारी माया मेम साहब को भी मात कर दिया जो सीबीआई छापे के दौरान कह रही थीं "कि इन लोगों ने एक लाख रुपये जो गरीबों ने माननीय कांशीराम जी के इलाज के लिये जमा किये थे 10 रुपये और 20 रुपये चन्दा करके-उसे भी नहीं छोड़ा"। हमारे इलाहाबादी भाई तो बिलकुल ही गये गुजरे निकले, पुलिस वालों को भी शर्म आई होगी- बरामद भी हुआ तो सिक्कॅ, वो भी पांच पैसे और दस पैसे के सिक्के, कुछ बीस के भी थे।

तो भाई लोग, आगे से ऐसा मत करना कि इलाहबाद वालों को शरमाना पड़े। कम से कम सौ-सौ के नोट तो हों ही ॥

अखबार में छपा समाचार:

छापे में 73 टन सिक्के बरामद : संवाददाता द्वारा, इलाहबाद : कोतवाली पुलिस ने देर रात सिनेमा रोड निवासी दो व्यवसायी के यहां छापा मार कर 165 बोरियों में रखा करीब 73 टन सिक्का बरामद किया। ये सिक्के एक दो और पांच, दस व बीस पैसे के हैं। सिक्कों को कमरे में छुपा कर रखा गया था। पुलिस ने मौके से दो लोगों को पकड़ा है और पूछताछ कर रही है। पुलिस को इस काला बाजारी में बड़े रैकेट की बू आ रही है। देर रात संदिग्ध स्थानों पर पुलिस की छापेमारी जारी थी। एक सौ पैंसठ बोरियों में भर कर रखे गए सिक्कों को बरामद कर थाने लाने में पुलिस के जवानों को पसीना आ गया। इन्हें कमरों से बाहर निकाल कर लाना और इन्हें ठेले रिक्शे पर लाद कर थाने तक ले जाना टेढ़ी खीर थी। सिपाहियों को ही यह काम करना पड़ा। मौके पर सिक्के लादने में जुटे पसीने से लतपथ सिपाहियों की हालत देखने लायक थी। कई तो किनारे हो लिए लेकिन जो मौके पर मिले उन्हें देर रात तक सिक्कों को लादने का काम निपटाना पड़ा। फिर भी देर रात तक सिक्के लादे कर थाने लाए जा रहे थे।

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."

Son: "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case...ok"


This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude should be positive

Sachin's son: Mummy mummy !! dekho papa six pe six maar rahe hain.

Sachin's wife: Beta theek se dekho, advertisement hoga.

palkon ke kinare jo humne bhigoye hi nahi
wo sochte hain hum roye hi nahi
wo poochhte hain khwabon mein kise dekhte ho
hum hain ki ek umar se soye hi nahi.


Khudah se maine ek duva maangi,
Duva mein apni maut maangi,
Phir khudah ne kaha...
Maut to tujhe de doon par,
Usko kya kahoon jisne teri lambi umar maangi

धन्यवाद्
दीपक श्रीवास्तव

Dil to pagal hai what can I do…
Kuch kuch hota hai when i think about you…
Hum aapke dil mein rehte hai cause I love you…

Live brings Khabhi Khushi Khabhi Gham…
How long it last Na Tum Jaano Na Hum..
But always Hum Saath Saath Hai…
Who knows Kal Ho Na ho..
But always remember honey..Main Hoon Na…

Devdas ke bap ne kaha, ghar chor do..
Maa ne kaha, Paro ko chor do..
Paro ne kaha, sharab pina chor do..
Tumhe kisne kaha sms karna chor do..?

Khuda se scooter manga..car di
Apartment manga..bangla diya
Dost manga tho tumhain diya..
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kiya…

दीपक जोक की Party with Friends

Before Marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?

Now after Marriage, you can read from bottom to the top

AT THE END OF THE TEST. WHEN YOU SEND IT ON PUT YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT BAR.


1. WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOU HAVE?
> >a) Dark
> >b) Light


2. OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANT TO:
> >a) Go to a party?
> >b) Go out to eat?


3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OUT OF:
> >a) Baby-Pink
> >>b) Yellow
> >c) Baby-Blue
> >d) Turquoise


4. PICK YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY OUT OF:
> >a) Surfing
> >b) Skate-Boarding
> >c) Skiing


5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING,WHICH WOULD IT BE?
> >a) Louie Vuitton
> >b) coach
> >c) against all odds


6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING?
> >a) Hawaii
> >b) London
> >c) Florida


7. IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOU RATHER GO TO:
> >a) The Beach?
> >b) Somewhere Cooler?


8. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH?
> >a) January
> >b) February
> >>c) March
> >d) April
> >e) May
> >f) June
> >g) July
> >h) August
> >i) September
> >j) October
> >k) November
> >l) December


9. WOULD YOU RATHER:
> >a) Chill at home
> >b) Go out with friends


10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE INSTRUMENT OUT OF:
> >a) Guitar
> >b) Bass guitar
> >c) Drums
> >d) The Triangle


11) NAME A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
> > >> > > >
> > >> > > >
> > >> > > >
> > >>
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>*********************************************************** *************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > >
> > >> >
> > >>
>
>************************************************************************
> > >> > > >
> > >> > > >
*****!!!!!*STOP*!!!!!*****
> > >> > > >
> > >> > > >
**ANSWERS**

> >1. a- dark = sexy [5points]
> > b- light = sweet [2 points]

> >2. a- go to a party = playful [2 points]
> > b. go out to eat = romantic [5 points]

> >3. a- baby-pink = cute [2]
> > b- yellow = loud [3]
> > c- baby-blue = cool [5]
> > d. turquoise = sexy [5]

> >4. a- surfing = active [2]
> > b- skateboarding = determined [2]
> > c- skiing = daring [5]

> >5. a- Louie Vuitton = tasteful [7]
> > b- coach = laid back [2]
> > c- against all odds = sytlish [5]

> >6. a) Hawaii = you like being around people [2]
> > b) London = You are quiet, and like the cold [2]
> > c) Florida = You like to party! [5]

> >7. a- beach = tan, likes the sun [5]
> > b- somewhere cooler = pale and original [2]

> >8. a) January = popular [5]
> > b) February lovely [2]
> > c) March = loud [2]
> > d) April = playful [5]
> > e) May = happy [5]
> > f) June = chills a lot [5]
> > g) July = smooth [2]
> > h) August = fun [5]
> > i) September = quiet [2]
> > j) October = out-going [2]
> > k) November = pimpin’ it [5]
> > l) December = warm [2]

> >9. a- home = quiet, romantic [5]
> > b- go out with friends = crazy [5]

> >10. a- guitar = eye-catching [5]
> > b- bass-guitar = mellow [2]
> > c- Drums = loud [2]
> > d- Triangle = crazy [5]

> >11. This person will fall in love with you!

> > >> > > >SCORES!!!!

> > >> > > >UP TO 20 = Not so Sexy
> > >> > > >21-35 = Rather sexy
> > >> > > >36+ = Too Sexy for this Test!!!!

Dear friends,

Indian Ads explain it all!

Your parents are insisting you to get married to a girl,they show photos of girls of their choice.

DHIKHAVE PE NA JAAO APNI AKAL LAGAAO -Sprite

You are invited to a party where you come across a lot of girls.

WHENEVER YOU SEE COLOUR THINK OF US - Jhenson Nicholson

You are altogether confused, as all the girls are pretty

DOONDHTE REH JAAOGE-Surf Excel

At last you find a girl, whom you wish to propose,the chances are.

FIFTY FIFTY -Britannia Biscuits

At last you muster up courage and tell her.

I LOVE YOU RASNA - Rasna

She stares at you for a while and says.LET'S TALK - Escotel Prepaid

During the ensuing conversation she politely refuses your offer.

ZOR KA JHATKA DHEERE SE LAGE-Mirinda

And your heart breaks.

IT JOINS EVERYTHING EXCEPT BROKEN HEARTS- QuickFix

But you still can't get her off your mind GO GET IT- Visa Power

At last she relents, when you give her PYAR KA NAYA FUNDA - Cornetto

NEIGHBOURS ENVY OWNERS PRIDE - Onida TV

While going on the bike her father sees both of you and now

TASTE THE THUNDER- Thums Up

But at last he also agrees as you are.MADE FOR EACH OTHER - Wills

Then comes your marriage and EVERYONE'S INVITED -Samsung

During the marriage the pundit recites the mantra.

YEH FEVICOL KA MAZBOOTH JOD HAI TOOTEGA NAHI - Fevicol

You are anxiously waiting for the first night to come as.

YEH DIL MAANGE MORE - Pepsi

During the first night both of you want to.PLAY SAFE -Bisleri

So she says to you.TOUCH TOMORROW - Air Tel

Next day comes and you want to.UNDERLINE YOUR PRESENCE-Van Huesen

She also agrees becauseYEH AARAM KA MAMLA HAI - Roopa

And she says.JO CHAHO HO JAYE.ENJOY Coca Cola

Then starts THE GOOD LIFE

I believe myself to be in love; I met this man and on the first night I saw him I felt this emotional connection with him. I can look deep into his eyes and my eyes get heavy yet I want to leave them open just to stare at him. The more I sat with him the more I felt the need to say I love you. My heart beats faster when I hear his voice or talk to him. I, for some reason, needed to meet him when I saw his picture and I can't explain why. I feel this overwhelming feeling of love coming off of him when ever he is around.

He makes me feel safe all the time and we can just sit and stare at each other for hours with out saying a word. When we are together I have no cares and I am off in a world where nothing matters, I can't hear a thing. He gives me chills when he touches me. What’s it all mean?

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$ 1000 just to drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $1000 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs! When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says,
"did he say anything about the! $ 1000 he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!

@>--;-- = A Rose
%-6 = All mixed up
O:- ) = Angel
0*- ) = Angel Wink – female
0;- ) = Angel wink – male
:-{ = Angry
:-Z = Angry Face
:-{{ = Very Angry
>:- ( = Annoyed
~:o = Baby
:-{0 = Basic Mustache
: = = Beaver
%-| = Been up All Night
:- )^< = Big Boy
:- )8< = Big Girl
(((H))) = Big Hug
:-X = Big Wet Kiss
(:-D = Blabber Mouth
?-( = Black Eye
#-) = Blinking
:-! = Bored
%-6 = Brain Dead
=) = Bucktoothed
:-C = Bummed Out
:-#| = Bushy Mustache
}:-X = Cat
q:- ) = Catcher
C=:- ) = Chef
8^ = Chicken
;-( = Chin up
*<<<<+ = Christmas Tree
:-.) = Cindy Crawford
% ) = Confused
:- S = Confused
:-{ = Count Dracula
H-) = Cross-Eyed
:`-( = Crying
:*( = Crying softly
&:- ) = Curly Hair
:-@! = Cursing
O-) = Cyclops
>:-> = Devilish
:-e = Disappointed
%-} = Dizzy
:3-] = Dog
:- )) = Double Chin
:*) = Drinking every night
:-B = Drooling out of Both Sides of Mouth
:#) = Drunk
.\/ = Duck
<:-l = Dunce
:-6 = Eating Something Spicy
(:-| = Egghead
5:- ) = Elvis
:") = Embarrased
:-} = Embarrassed Smile
0|-) = Enjoying the Sun
>: ) = Evil
>-) = Evil Grin
G(-’.’G) = Fighting Kid - it’s a straight-on smiley
l:-O = FlatTop Loudmouth
:-! = Foot in Mouth
=:-H = Football player
:-W = Forked Tongue
:^{= = Frank Zappa
%*@:- ) = Freaking Out
/:- ) = Frenchman with a beret
8) = Frog
:-< = Frowning
):-( = Frowning Smiley with Hair
:- / = Frustrated
=:- ) = Funny Hair
*:* = Fuzzy
*:*} = Fuzzy With a Mustache
~~:-( = Getting Rained On
8*) = Glasses and a Half Mustache
:oÞ = Grinning and sticking tongue out (type ALT+0222 on righthand number keypad)
{:- ) = Hair Parted in the Middle
}:- ) = Hair Parted in the Middle Sticking up on Sides
=:- ) = Hair Standing on End
:-}) = Handlebar Mustache
%-) = Happy Drunk
:-’ = Has a Dimple
:%)% = Has Acne
:-# = Has Braces
#) = Has Braces variation
:-`| = Have a Cold
|:- ) = Heavy Eyebrows
/;- ) = Heavy Eyebrows - Slanted
l^o = Hepcat
(_8^(|) = Homer Simpson
(_8(|) = Homer Simpson
(^~^~^) = Hot ass walking away
*^_^* = Huge Dazzling Grin - it’s a straight-on smiley
%*@:-( = Hungover with headache
:0 = Hungry
o[-<]: = I am a skater or I like to skate
?:^[] = Jim Carrey
(8 { = John Lennon
@:-} = Just Back From Hairdresser
:-T = Keeping a Straight Face
: ) = Kid smiley
:-x = Kiss
:-* = Kiss on the cheek
>^,,^< = Kitty Cat - it’s a straight-on smiley
& = Kitty cleaning a hind paw
>* = Kitty doesn’t like taking its pill
~*= = Kitty running away from you
:p = Kitty with tongue hanging out
>:-l = Klingon
:-D = Laughing
%OD = Laughing like crazy
(-: = Left Hand
?-: = Left Handed Tongue Touching Nose
>;-> = Lewd Remark
:-9 = Licking Lips
;-, = Like, Duh
:-x = Lips are Sealed
8:- ) = Little Girl
%-) = Long Bangs
%+{ = Lost a Fight
|-( = Lost Contact Lenses
X-( = Mad
;-( = mad look
&-l = Makes Me Cry
*) = Makes Me Sick
:- S = Makes No Sense
@@@@:- ) = Marge Simpson
@|-) = Meditating Smiley
#:- ) = Messy Hair
8(:- ) = Mickey Mouse
: ) = Midget
~~:-( = Mohawk
:-{ = Mustache
:-{)= = Mustache & Goatee
:-3 = Mustache (Handlebar Type)
{:-{)} = Mustache and Beard
:-# = My Lips Are Sealed
(-) = Needs Haircut
):-( = Nordic
:/) = Not Amused
8-O = Omigod!
:=) = Orangutan
8> = Penguin
:-? = Pensive
:^) = Personality
3:] = Pet Dog
:8) = Pig
:---) = Pinnochio
P-( = Pirate
3:[ = Pitbull
:-< = Pointy Mustache
}:^#) = Pointy Nosed
+<:- ) = Pope
:-t = Pouting
:-[ = Pouting variation
+:- ) = Priest
;~[ = Prizefighter
X:- ) = Propeller Head
=:- ) = Punk
=:-( = Punk Not Smiling
<(-'.'-)> = Puppy dog - it’s a straight-on smiley
:-r = Rasberry
(((((:-{= = Rave Dude
:-C = Real Unhappy
~:-( = Really Bummed Out
:- )) = Really Happy
([( = Robocop
[:] = Robot
@};--- = Rose
3:*> = Rudolph the red nose reindeer
= Sad
= Sad Turtle
:-d = Said with a smile
:-y = Said with a Smile variation
M:- ) = Saluting
*<|:- ) = Santa Claus
:-> = Sarcastic
:-@ = Screaming
)8-) = Scuba Diver with Hair
$__$ = Sees Money
:-I = Semi-Smile
,:- ) = Shaved Left Eyebrow
8-0 = Shocked
+-( = Shot Between the Eyes
:-V = Shouting
:O = Singing
~:- P = Single Hair
:- / = Skeptical
‘:- / = Skeptical again
:-7 = Skeptical variation
O-) = Smiley After Smoking a Banana
):- ) = Smiley with Hair
:-, = Smirk
;^) = Smirking
:-i = Smoking a cig
:-? = Smoking a pipe
:-Q = Smoking while talking
~~~~8} = Snake
<| = Standing Firm
=%-O = Stared at Computer Way Too Long
%-) = Staring at a Screen for 15 hours
(8-{)} = Sunglasses, Mustache, Beard
/8^{~ = Sunglasses, Mustache, Goatee
:0 = Surprised
`:- ) = Sweating
,:- ) = Sweating on the Other Side
:-0 = Talkative
:- S = Talking Gibberish
&-| = Tearful
-(: )(0)=8 = Teletubby
:- )--- = Thin as a Pin
%-\ = Tired
:-? = Tongue Sticking Out
:-& = Tongue Tied
:-a = Tongue Touching Nose
*!#*!^*&:- = Total Head Case
}(:-( = Toupee Blowing in Wind
:- ))) = Triple Chin
<:>== = Turkey
x:- / = Uncertain
=):- ) = Uncle Sam
:-\ = Undecided
:-| = Unfazed
|:- ) = Unibrow
|:-| = Unyielding
:-[ = Vampire
:- ))) = Very Happy
%’ ) = Very Tired
(:-( = Very Unhappy
:-< = Walrus
@:- ) = Wavy Hair
{(:- ) = Wearing a Toupee
[:- ) = Wearing a Walkman
8-) = Wearing Contacts
B-) = Wearing Glasses
:-{} = Wearing Lipstick
]-I = Wearing Sunglasses
{:- ) = Wears a Toupee
:-1 = Whatever
:-” = Whistling
;^? = Wigged Out
‘- ) = Winking
,-) = Winking Happy
;- ) = Winking variation
8<:- ) = Wizard
-=#:- ) \ = Wizard with Wand
:- )8 : = Woman
:~) = Wondering
,-} = Wry and Winking
:-7 = Wry Face
l-O = Yawning
|^o = Yawning or Snoring variation
0) = Yelling
=8-0 = Yikes!
$-) = Yuppie